As I lazily scrolled through TikTok early this week, I came across a particular video that stopped me dead in my tracks: anonymous poetry on siblings.
Because I am a sucker for sappy writing, especially pieces that relate to sibling relationships, this is certainly not the first video I have watched that puts my feelings on my younger sister and brother into the most gut-wrenchingly honest words.
I have a collection of my favorite phrases that sum up my love for my siblings, and what better way to share them than through a touching Her Campus article. Here are some of the ones that have stuck with me the most:
“It’s been you and me since before I was me.”
While I am the oldest sibling and technically did exist for two years before my sister was born, and then another two years before my brother came along, I have never known a conscious life without the two of them. I’m not sure if my brain has just blocked out past memories that did not include them, or because they are always the most memorable parts of my childhood stories, but this line is true even for an older sibling.
We have always been a group of three, whether that’s going to each other’s sporting events, meeting up at the main office to get out of school early for our back-to-back-to-back dentist appointments, or just playing hours of Just Dance while our mom made dinner after school.
Regardless, I have always found my siblings to be extensions of myself, and life without them would feel like cutting my own limbs off.
“You’re my sister and we have shared a room my whole life; when we were younger it was hell and occasionally still is but for the moment it is peaceful…you’re my sister and I don’t want you to move out.”
This line hits especially hard for me; my sister and I grew up sleeping less than five feet away from each other for almost our whole lives. We still joke about how we would rush up the stairs every night and race to see who would get into their bed first because neither of us wanted to be the “rotten egg” who had to turn off the light in the room (monsters obviously lived under our beds…duh).
On Christmas morning, we would both lay still in our beds at four in the morning, counting down the hours until it was time to wake our parents up and go downstairs to open presents. To avoid causing any suspicious noise, we would whisper to each other in the darkness, swearing to the other one that we could hear Santa clip-clacking on the roof, giggling and shushing each other when the excitement became uncontrollable.
When I moved to college, I had to relearn how to share a room with someone that did not grow up already knowing my habits. I prided myself on my experience with being able to coexist in a small space, but deep down inside, I was scared that I would never know how to enjoy my time living with anyone else but my sister. She was my roommate before I even knew such relationships existed, and some of the best parts of growing up are because I was lucky enough to sleep three leaps away from her bed.
“This is what I want: I want to grab my brother’s hand and run back through time, losing years like coats falling from our shoulders.”
My sister and I have always joked that our brother will always be a baby to us. No matter our age or how infrequently we see each other, he will always be our little baby. In old pictures, my sister and I were always so similar in height, while our brother was constantly a head and shoulders smaller than us. Physically, he was always our baby.
But then I moved away, and suddenly he grew taller, and while his increase in height and the removal of his braces scared me, I would come home and still give him a hug for longer than he wanted, and he was still my baby.
But now, as my sister and I both live in different parts of the state, I have come to realize that he is growing up. He is, in fact, not a baby. He is intelligent, class president, playing varsity sports, going to actual parties and existing in a “big kid” timeline.
And while I smile at the pictures that I get to see on Instagram and through intermittent updates from my parents of all his high school successes and triumphs, I realize that we will never go back to the time where he was our baby, my baby, and I feel as if I want to rip up everything I am doing now and just go back to when we all lived under the same roof.
So, yes, selfishly I want to hold on to my brother as pull him backwards in time, reliving the best parts of my life where I could watch him pitch for the first time, slip him free candy under the counter at my summer job and bring a towel for him when we went to the public pool because I knew he would be too distracted to remember his own.
Because in my mind, I want him to be our little baby forever.
“For you, I would.”
While this line could apply to a lot of different situations and relationships, I find it most applicable to how I feel about my siblings.
Whatever they ask of me, and whatever they need, I will do.
There never needs to be an explanation or a reason behind their needs, because I want their happiness and comfort so badly that I simply will act for them.
When I didn’t get into the colleges I tried so hard for, they both patted me on the back and said, “their loss.”
When my sister was scolded for a facial piercing by my family members at Christmas, my brother and I did not hesitate to come to her defense, sticking up for her and diverting the attention away from her.
When my brother forgot his nice clothes for family pictures we were going to take, my sister and I grabbed his stuff and quietly picked him up from where he was to make sure he was in the right clothes before anyone found out he had messed up.
None of this happened because we asked each other for assistance or cheering up – we just did it.
Because for them, I would, without hesitation, every single time.
My siblings are the most unique and important people that will ever cross my life. They encompass all the attributes I wish I had and teach me how to reverse the ones I wish to rid myself of.
They are extensions of myself, and life without them would feel like cutting my own limbs off.