When I was in high school, I didn’t care.
Obviously, I still made sure my obligations were met at the end of the day, but I just didn’t care to do a thorough job.
I was a competitive dancer as well as a full time student, which doesn’t sound like much, but it was more than you’d think.
Between being at school every day and in the dance studio pretty much every day for about four hours a day, it was very stressful.
If you add on the fact that on the weekends, I would have to study, do homework, have sometimes up to 12 hour dance days, and still try to make time to see friends, it felt as though I can’t even breathe.
What made things worse was having to deal with a rough mental state, which made all of these things impossible to do most days.
I wouldn’t go to school, I rarely did homework, I wouldn’t try as hard as I could at dance and then I was too drained from dance to even see my friends.
All of this made me quite literally the worst version of myself.
Even though it felt like this cycle would never end, I luckily found a way out of it and a light at the end of the tunnel.
Once I went off to college, I told myself that I can’t get back into bad habits, no matter how bad my mental health may be some days. I knew that since I wasn’t doing dance anymore, I would finally have time to try new things and get work done.
I also told myself I needed to find at least a few days each week to spend some time in the gym since I don’t have that workout outlet that dance gave me everyday.
It took some time, but I finally cracked my personal code to balance in college.
The obvious is that school comes first. I know that in college I have become my own parent and had to set rules for myself.
One of those rules is that if I don’t get the work I have written in my planner done for the day, I can’t spend time with my friends or do fun things until I get my most important responsibilities done first.
A perfect day for me is going to all of my classes, eating with friends, going to the gym, doing some work in the library, and ending the day with a movie/show with friends.
Now, I understand that there’s no such thing as perfect, but this is a large jump from the way I was spending my days before I found balance in my life.
Of course, I love to spend some days rotting in bed, getting extra rest, and spending my last dollars on food that isn’t from the dining hall, but as long as I don’t do that every day it’s okay.
I feel so much better at the end of the day when I have a full, productive day. It especially makes my weekends better because I feel like I’ve deserved this “fun time” with my friends without having to stress about having a lot of missing work to make up.
I understand the struggle of not wanting to do anything but be alone and do nothing, but it does get better.
Creating a planner/organizer for yourself is a tool that I’ve found most helpful when I’m in a rut.
It may sound silly, but writing the smallest things in your planner for each day such as “take a shower” or “wash the dirty mug” helps. After checking it off, you see just how much you accomplished in total for the day and that’s definitely something to be proud of.