If you haven’t heard of Taylor Swift and her “squad,” you probably haven’t been on social media too often in the past year or so. It seems like they are everywhere, and there is always a new member. And they are, supposedly, the definition of #squadgoals. And it’s good to have something to aspire to, but there are several flaws with trying to judge your own friendships against a “squad” such as Taylor Swift’s.
For example, there are SO MANY members of Taylor’s squad. This could pressure young people, especially young women, to think that if they don’t have a huge group of friends, they are doing something wrong. Maybe they aren’t popular enough, not pretty enough, don’t have a good enough personality. And therefore maybe they aren’t satisfied with having just one or two good friends. As an introvert, I can testify to the fact that it is often very satisfying to have just one or two or three best friends that you completely trust and can be completely yourself with. Some people just can’t feel that sort of connection with a large group of people, and they prefer to keep their circles small. And there is nothing wrong with that. You don’t need a Taylor-esque squad of dozens of people to feel loved.
According to social media, it seems like the Taylor squad has no drama. Everyone loves each other. In every picture they are smiling and happy. They are supposedly always there for each other. Each member has a certain role in the group, and you can go on Buzzfeed to take quizzes on which role you play in your squad or which Taylor-squad-member you are. This is completely unrealistic. When there are that many people in a group, there is bound to be drama with so many different personalities. Fights happen and drama ensues. This is completely normal. Relying on social media’s portrayal of #squadgoals can lead to the misconception that friend groups should always be peaceful and happy, and this will hardly ever happen, especially as more people are added to the group. This is normal. This doesn’t mean your friend group is flawed or not good enough. And each person doesn’t have to play a specific role. You aren’t just “The Helper,” “The Partier,” “The Sassy One” or “The Trend-Setter.” You aren’t just the Karlie Kloss or the Cara Delevingne of your friends. Your friends are friends with you because they like you. You don’t need to be defined by a role or a member of the Taylor squad to feel like you belong.
Maybe you don’t even feel like you have a squad. Even in high school, I was friends with different people from different groups of friends. Sure, this makes big-group-events kind of difficult, but I don’t necessarily like to be surrounded by that many people anyway. And what’s wrong with that? When you are friends with different people from different groups, you get to know people with different personalities, different interests and maybe different backgrounds. It can be a lot more exciting that way. Plus, you don’t get dragged into the drama that sometimes a big group of friends can drag you into.
So don’t worry if your squad or lack thereof isn’t necessarily #squadgoals. If you like your friends and they like you, that’s all that matters!
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