With everything going on recently with regards to the LGBTQIA+ I had noticed one odd area of discourse. This particular area was the use of cisgender (i.e. cis, cismale, and cisfemale) when referring to those who are not transgender, and how a good handful of these people don’t want to be called “cis”.
I’ve also seen the fight back to this and how some people say that if you don’t accept being called “cis” then you’re transphobic. Personally, I don’t agree. While there are definitely those who don’t want to use it because they don’t support the trans community, I also think there are other reasons as well that should be respected. Maybe they don’t fully understand the purpose of it, maybe they just don’t like the way it makes them feel, which is similar to the way I don’t want people to misgender me.
So, to begin, let’s try to clear some things up.
Cisgender or “cis” had been adopted by the community to simply refer to the people who are not trans. It’s basically the distinction for when you’re talking about people and their identity because of one simple fact: cis women and trans women are both women, and the same is obviously said for men.
The use of cis is just the way of further narrowing down who identifies as the gender they were assigned at birth and those who don’t. Cis simply means you aren’t trans and it’s our way of both distinguishing who is trans and who isn’t, while at the same time validating the gender identity of the individual.
For example: Two men stand before you. One is trans and one is not. If you then ask who is a man, they would both have the right to say “I am”. Now you ask who is trans and who is not which can further narrow it down. Cis is just a different way of saying “not trans” but with fewer or about the same amount of a mouthful.
It also helps with stopping the usage of non-trans people calling themselves a “normal woman” or a “normal man”. Trans people are just as normal and to call yourself this with the specific intention of separating yourself from a trans individual is a very cruel thing to do, even if it isn’t done completely intentionally.
Cis also helps with similar mouthfuls or potentially offensive sayings such as “biological woman” or “natural man”. To be honest, if you just call yourself a man, I personally won’t look at you and go “oh but are you really?”
Because people really shouldn’t care. If you say you’re a man, woman, gender neutral, etc. I don’t think it should be questioned and, if you are trans, it’s up to you if you want to introduce yourself as a “woman” or a “trans woman” (same for men, obviously).
So, what’s up with cis? Cis is just another way of labeling. You don’t have to go by it but please think about why you don’t want to. Please do not get angry at a person calling you cis because they are not misgendering you (or at least not trying to) and they don’t do it maliciously. This label is there simply because the world likes labels and until everyone accepts the fact that trans women and men are each respectively women and men just as much as a non trans individual, these labels are going to exist.
And to those in the LGBTQIA+ community, it’s ok for them to not want to be called cis and you should respect their choice just as they should respect your pronouns. Don’t just assume they are transphobic. Ask them why they don’t want to be called cis if you really need to know, and make your judgment from there. And if they are transphobic, then feel free to call them out. I definitely wouldn’t stop you.
I’m not trying to attack anyone innocent, nor am I forgiving people who are being transphobic. I am simply spelling out what is happening, my general opinions, and ways to move forward in a discourse that should not be a discourse to begin with. With everything happening, one less area to fight about would be nice, don’t you think?