This past year has definitely been a growing process to say the least. Being forced into some much needed alone time with quarantine, I learned a lot about myself and about the most important things, in my opinion, in life. I have decided to share with you all, as these ideas have greatly impacted my own life: the contents of the most sacred note in my phone.
LIFE LESSONS
First off:
The greatest risk in life is to not take risks
Now this was a very hard one for me to grasp. Change can be very intimidating and most times, risks result in change. But I have learned that if you don’t take the risk, you lose the chance. If that risk fails, at least you can say that you gave your everything into it and you can be proud of yourself for having the strength to do so.
Do not set aside your comfort for someone else’s ego
This can apply to a multitude of situations. But I really came to terms with it when I was procrastinating ending friendships and the oh-so-fun “talking stages” for the sake of someone else. Now don’t get me wrong, empathizing is very important and I would never do something to intentionally hurt someone or recommend that someone do so, but sometimes it is okay to be selfish. Think about your own feelings and how different situations are affecting you before choosing not to act due to someone else’s feelings. Plus, honesty is a good thing, so if you aren’t doing well in a relationship or have found yourself in a toxic friendship: let that ish go! And don’t feel guilty for putting your mental health before someone else’s. Who knows, maybe you ending things will show someone a side of themselves they need to work on, and you in turn will learn what you want and need in life.
This leads me to:
You are the ONLY constant in your life
Truly, you are. And it’s a hard truth. Yes you will have friends and you will have your family, but from birth until death: you will only always have you. So spend time with yourself! Get to know yourself! And I know you’re probably thinking that you already know yourself, I mean how could you not, but how often have you actually, genuinely spent time with yourself? Have you spent time in your thoughts without mindlessly scrolling through tik tok (which I am also a culprit of). It is uncomfortable but so so necessary in understanding who you are, what you truly want, and what you need. Sitting with yourself after a breakup or the ending of a friendship can help you learn what to do next, why you may have handled a situation in the way you did, and what to change to handle it better next time. I do this through journaling, drives by myself, going out to eat or get coffee by myself, and just overall making time in my schedule that is dedicated to me. If you’re only always going to have you, then you should probably be your best supporter.
Your life is always in your control
As an anxious person, it is super helpful to remind myself of this. If I really wanted to, I could pack my bags and move across the country right this second. I sadly do not have the financial funds to do so as a broke college student but the point here is that you have power in your own decisions! You can’t always control what happens to you, but you can control what you do about it, and therefore you have the power in your own life.
If you are happy doing what you’re doing, then no one can tell you that you’re not successful
In the wise words of Harry Styles. Everyone has different goals in life, and just because someone has goals that are not yours, does not mean that their’s mean any less. If you are happy, who can look at you and tell you that you shouldn’t be? Chase whatever your goals are and support others in theirs and no one can tell you that you aren’t in the right place. This leads me to…
Know how to appreciate things that matter to others, even if they don’t matter to you
As stated before, we all have different goals that have the same amount of importance. I see a lot of times people shaming others for their different goals just because they don’t take the time to consider how important it might be for someone else. For example, if someone is super into theatre and you don’t really understand the point of it, that does not mean that you can not appreciate the fact that it is obviously very important to a lot of other people. This can also be super important in different relationships. Even though you might not enjoy something, appreciating it for the sake of another person can make them feel heard and also appreciated!
These ideas have greatly impacted my own growth in the past year, and I hope that they can resonate with you as much as they did me.