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3 Ways You Know You’re Compromising Your Own Happiness for Others

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SAU chapter.

Compromising your happiness to make other people happy is something many of us tend to do without even realizing it.

While you try to make your significant other, friends or family happy, sometimes you forget about your own happiness in the process. Even worse, sometimes your own happiness declines because you’re so worried about pleasing others. We tend to do this because we want acceptance from our S/O, friends and family. It’s sad because we forget what’s most important: being content with ourselves. It’s an everyday battle to make yourself happy and keep that happiness.

Many of us aim to reach the point of pure happiness, where you can wake up every day and say “I love my life.” The sad reality of it is, many young women in college are far from this. I know this, because I am going through a similar situation. I put so much emphasis on everyone around me, and things that I thought made me happy, but in the end, I end up disappointed. This is the time where you, and I, need to leave those disappointments behind and find the happiness within ourselves. Here are a few things you need to look for if you are compromising your own happiness for others.

1. When you stop doing things for yourself

It is great to do things for other people, but not when it starts getting in the way of your life goals or your happiness. In many of my relationships, I compromised a lot because the only thing that mattered to me was making my boyfriend happy, but not myself. I started missing out on activities, sold myself short in classes and stopped doing the things that made me truly happy. When these things start to appear in your life, you need to realize who is first in line and that is yourself. In order to be able to do things for other people, without forgetting to care about yourself, you need to be happy with who you are.

2. When someone else changes you for the worse

We all have our bad days, I get it. There are the bad days that you can control, and the bad days that you cannot control. When you start to wake up unhappy on a day-to-day basis, because other people have put you in that position, then there is something wrong. I knew that I was not happy with myself, when I let petty fights with my boyfriend or friends dictate my mood for the day. I would be unhappy all day, or sad because I was afraid I made others unhappy. This is when you need to do a complete 180 and control your bad day. You need to wake up and not let others dictate your mood, but only let you dictate that.  Some days it may seem impossible to be content, but these are the days that it is essential to find something that makes you happy and no one else.

3. Comparing yourself to others

Everyone compares themselves to other people, whether you’re a guy or girl, older or younger. One thing about this generation, is the amount of value we tend to place on being perfect. People thrive to be perfect in relationships, around parents, teachers and friends. When you are not happy with yourself, insecurities start to set in. You start to compare yourself to other people instead of looking in the mirror and saying, “I am one of a kind.” Everyone has their own beautiful flaws and no one should ever compare themselves to other people. There is no such thing as perfect, but there is happiness and contentment. Being happy and content with your own self is being perfect in your own mind.

So remember, do what you can for others — but if you’re compromising your own happiness in the process, it might be time to re-evaluate. The most important person in your life is YOU. It’s not vain; you’ve all heard it before: “You can’t love others until you love yourself.” So, starting doing what’s best for yourself because it matters. Your happiness and your life matters, too. It’s time to bee happy. 



Image Credit: Bee Happy

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