With the infamous holiday approaching, people have begun to predictably categorize themselves — becoming either hopeless romantics infatuated by whimsy or pessimists scorned by love. The title itself is not so much relevant, but the detail it reveals is – that detail being that you either will or will not be celebrating valentine’s day. Some masquerade it as a choice; their horses high, parading around, making sure that everyone is aware that it’s not really a holiday, but another commercialized event the conglomerates have harped on. And of course, they’re not entirely wrong. Valentine’s day does benefit from its commercialization: we cannot deny that businesses and people love to slap pink-palette, heart shaped distractions onto whatever mediocre content they’re providing – whether that be unhealthy fast- food (yes, including the heart-shaped chick-fil-a trays) , problematic messages encoded into terribly written romances (do we really need another predominantly stereotypical romance?), or even poorly done apologies or gifts given with the intention of “gettin’ some action” (please, do not hit your ex up). While the points are not entirely baseless, they do both call unfair criticism to the holiday (especially when considering other holidays benefit from similar romanticization) and generally, they miss the point of the holiday.
When I reflect on my experiences with Valentine’s Day, I can recognize I’ve had my fair share of romance and grandiosity that have contributed in some way to the love I celebrate with – but mostly, I recall some of the sweeter and more simplistic moments of my life. If I have ever had any valentine, my mom has always made the list; never shying away from specifically intended gifts for each of the five children she has. I’ve spent several Valentine’s days in a row with friends – in fact, a specific friendship “anniversary” I have is on valentine’s day. I recall heart-shaped conchas from corner stores, cheesy pick-up lines written by strangers on white boards, rushed interaction of gifts being bought and swapped. And for most of those interactions, there were no romantic intentions or personal gain. Instead, each gesture was a simple means of the people that loved me showing me that they loved me – and for the days leading up to and especially on Valentine’s Day, that behavior could be observed all around me. I won’t say that every industry attempting to capitalize on the human desire for love is necessarily a positive aspect alone – but I will say there’s no harm in seeing and feeling like you’re loved, or especially showing others that you’re loved.
So, yes! Valentine’s Day is probably an incredibly selfish attempt to make quick cash or gain – but so are most holidays under capitalist consumption. While we can’t change the entire presentation of Valentine’s Day, we can choose to alter how we view and spend it. Instead of giving in to negativity, challenge yourself to choose a perspective that encourages you to spread and show love to others (That means everyone! Yourself, friends, strangers, family, pets, and partners!). Too often, we are caught up in the cyclic nature of life, so why not give into a day that prompts us to show the love we have been feeling (but perhaps not showing).