For many Black womxn, hair is more than just a style – it’s a form of self-expression, a connection to cultural heritage, and a symbol of pride. However, the societal pressure to conform to Eurocentric beauty standards often leads to Black womxn straightening, relaxing, or altering their natural hair texture. Instead of embracing our kinky, coily, or curly hair, we opt for straight or wavy textures. The decision to undergo the “Big Chop” – cutting off all of one’s chemically processed or heat-damaged hair – can be an intimidating but liberating choice.
About a month ago, I decided to do the “Big Chop,” and I haven’t regretted it since.
I used to have hair past my shoulder constantly undergoing heat damage as I flat ironed it every two weeks to keep it smooth and straight. But every time I would wash my hair, I could see the full extent of the damage I was doing. My once-curly strands were now stringy and straight, with no curl pattern whatsoever. Trying to make my hair look presentable was a constant battle when I wanted to wear it naturally, and I was tired of it.
During the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, I saw more and more Black womxn cutting off all their hair and embracing their natural textures. They looked amazing, and I couldn’t help but feel inspired by their courage. I started to think about doing the “Big Chop” myself, but fear held me back.
I feared how I would look without my long, straight hair, and I was afraid of what other people would think and of being unable to style my hair how I wanted to. But as time went on, I realized that my fear was holding me back from something that could be truly liberating. I had come to the realization that I needed to choose health over length. No matter how long my hair was, knowing the true state of my hair would always lower my self-confidence.
So, one day, after nearly three years of contemplation, second-guessing and judging myself. I finally cut my hair.
It was a scary moment, but as I looked in the mirror, I felt a sense of relief wash over me. As I saw my hair fall to the floor, I felt like I had let a part of myself go. The younger version of myself that was so easily influenced and controlled by social norms. Now with my hair short and curly, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Over time, I began to love my new look. I felt more confident and empowered than ever before. I no longer had to spend hours straightening my hair, and all the work that inherently goes along with it, and I could finally embrace my natural texture without fearing judgment. The “Big Chop” was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, and I’m so glad I took the leap.