Men—particularly young men—often get a bad rep for being picky, shallow, immature -you name it. However, this isn’t always the case, and not every young adult male deserves this reputation.
Men may be picky but it has less to do with physical attraction than society makes it seem. While being attracted to someone physically can be important, men actually care way more about making a genuine connection with someone.
I decided to talk a few local college guys and ask their opinions on turn offs and turn ons when it comes to their views on college women.
Turn Offs
1. Pretending to be dumb.
For whatever reason, some college girls think they can grab a guy’s attention by playing off as if they are not smart. Perhaps they think guys want to be the smarter one in a relationship (who knows why, we’d love to marry a doctor too) but I don’t know where that belief came from.
“I don’t like girls who pretend to be dumb because they think it’s cute. Like if a girl at a party says ‘I’m sooo blonde!'” – Austin, SFSU
2. Smoking cigarettes
Just like a lot of girls don’t like guys who smoke, well, it’s a two-way street. This is especially the case for those of us attending college in the year 2012, who grew up in elementary school with tons of programs like D. A. R. E.,which taught us how bad smoking is for you. Now it’s almost strange see young people smoke, in the states at least.
“Habitual smoking is a turn off” -Dominic, SFSU
“I could kiss an ash tray if I wanted to” -Austin, SFSU
3. Not being able to keep up a Conversation and Silent Treatment
Nobody likes awkward pauses. Being able to carry a conversation is huge. It’s lets us know that you are engaged and have personality. At the same time though, remember to give the guy a chance to talk as well. Don’t spend the entire date telling your life story -make sure the conversations are balanced.
“I prefer they talk a fair amount [when it’s] just me and them, but [when] in a group [I] prefer that they are reading the group and not blabbing on and on” -Justin UCSC
Also, the “silent treatment” is usually an absolute turn off. Too often in relationships both parties assume things and don’t share their honest feelings. Nothing will be resolved if nobody can say what the problem is and talk about it. Holding back your feelings doesn’t help in any way. It may sound cliché’ but honesty is the best policy. You have to communicate.
“Girls who hide their feelings, -total turn off” -Tanmaya, Sonoma State.
Turn Ons
1. Playing Hard to Get
Now this comes with a caveat, this may not necessarily be the way most guys feel, but it’s all about balance. We want to work, but not for girls who will completely put in no effort in the end. There has to be some give and take. It’s complicated. However, Austin puts it into perspective quite nicely when he says:
“I want you to not want me and then let me convince you otherwise. I’d rather fail a thousand times that way then just take someone who will ‘give it up’ easy” -Austin, SFSU.
2. A love of sports (at least be aware, and willing to learn)
Not all heterosexual men are into sports, but a lot of them are. We’re not saying you have to be as into sports as we are, but at least have some knowledge of the general sports scene. It’s attractive when girls can get into a physical activity. Especially when girls get involved with intermural sports at college.
“If they know about sports that’s hot” -Ryan B., SJSU
“I prefer that they like at least one sport” -Justin, UCSC
3. Flirting: the little things
“Rule #32- enjoy the little things.” –Zombieland (2009).
There are so many little things that girls can do that can be major turn-ons and a lot of it has to do with your body language.
“Hard to explain, but when a girl giggles and turns away with her hand on her mouth, but still keeps eye contact or at least looks back” -Justin UCSC
“When a girl rolls her eyes jokingly and then makes eye contact and smiles at you.” -Andrew, SFSU.
4. Being unexpectedly outgoing
Guys love the unexpected.
“Being genuinely friendly and showing interest. I am always surprised by a girl who always says hi or strikes up conversation because I assume I have to do the work. Even if she’s not particularly hot I will be attracted to that” -Ryan S., SFSU.