Friends, sheeshh. Who hasn’t had their fair share of difficulties when it comes to this topic. Friendships are such an important part of the growing process. Without having friends to enjoy the good and bad times with you, loneliness can really set it sometimes leaving you feeling kind of depressed. However, something I’ve learned over time is that it is much better to be alone than to hold on to toxic friendships.
SOO what is a toxic friendship might you ask?
Well, it is one that does not help you grow, and one that is not genuine, to say the least.
It is so vital to understand that it is not always about the years you have known someone but about the quality of the person’s character. Is this person trustworthy? Reliable? Can you call them whenever? Are they checking up on you and vise versa? Are they holding you accountable?
Do they doubt you or encourage you? Do they believe in you when you don’t even believe in yourself? Are you able to give each other constructive criticism? All of these are important questions when it comes to filtering out your friend group. The number of friends you have means nothing if you don’t feel comfortable with them. It is also important to remember that if you have a friend group, you must have a genuine connection with every single person in that group. No time for weak links!
Here are five questions to ask yourself when assessing a friendship!
1. Do they check on you?
The phone works both ways honey! It’s frustrating feeling like you are the only one who cares. I get it, everyone is busy and the older we get the less time we all have on our hands, but it doesn’t take much time to send a, “Hey, I thought about you wanted to see how you’ve been?”, keeping the lines of communications open.
2. Do they hold you accountable?
When you tell them your goals do they ask of your progress? You and your friend are a duo, they should want success for you the same way they want it for themselves and visa versa.
3. Are they pessimistic, close-minded, discrediting, unhappy?
Whew chilllleeeeeee,.. just let them go!
4. Do you find out about their successes with the crowd?
As a friend, you should be there for each other through one anothers ups and downs. In a healthy friendship, if your friend has experienced failure, it is your job to pick them up because they will do the same for you w/o hesitation.
So as they have reached their goal of success, anyone who has been with them through the ugly would find it insulting they are finding out about their great achievements on Twitter. YES! You are happy for them, but it’s hurtful when they only seem to look for you in their rough times but not when they are rejoicing. Be wary of this type of person.
5. Do you guys find value in the same things?
It’s not necessary to be the same people, I was never a fan of physics, but I know there’s a law that says, “Opposites attract”… or something like that. So it’s fine to be different people. However, a question you must always ask yourself and constantly evaluate is do you and your friend share the same values? A person’s core values shapes who they are. So be very mindful what what your friend finds value in. If it doesn’t sit well with you then asses the friendship!