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Thoughts On Last Night’s Bachelor

Another week, another wine bottle finished off as I watch the train wreck that is Nick’s season on The Bachelor. This week, I decided to record my thoughts and reactions as twenty women compete to make a bearded D-list celebrity fall in love with them.

The constant Reddi Whip commercials throughout this episode is proof the whipped cream scene was planned by the producers, but it doesn’t make me like Corrine anymore.

I really hope Corrine has black mascara all over her face for the rest of the night, including the rose ceremony.

Oh wait. She’s too drunk to get there.

A good drinking game would be take a shot every time someone says “right reasons.”

The rose ceremony had my feeling really tense, because two of my favorites were left at the final rose, Jasmine and Lacey. I like Jasmine because she’s a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader and I’m obsessed with DCC Making the Team on CMT, and I like Lacey because she looks like Lo from The Hills. In the end, Jasmine got the rose, and my CMT side sang while my MTV side sobbed.

Jasmine is going to KILL this group date. She’s literally a professional dancer.

“I’m not a cry baby!”-Corrine, as she cries for the second time in 30 minutes.

The dance between Danielle and Nick is awkward. You can tell they have no clue what to actually do.

If dancing on stage with the Backstreet Boys was really the worst day of Corrine’s life, I’d like to have her life.

Breathed a sigh of relief when he said Danielle and not Corrine for the group date. If he had picked Corinne, I would of lost all faith in humanity.

There was a collective “aww” from the dorm filled with girls watching when Nick started crying during his date with Vanessa. Also, I genuinely feel bad for Vanessa since she got sick.

My boobs hurt just watching Astrid.

This race to the giant plastic ring is the most intense sporting event I have ever seen and WHOA HOW DID ASTRID WIN.

Dominique is comin’ in hot and aggressive and its making me uncomfortable.

Alexis looks like she could be on Jersey Shore.

In one sentence, Taylor summed up how I always feel watching Corrine: “That was weird.”

I really like both Raven and Vanessa, but you NEVER wanna be that girl talking about other girls to the bachelor.

 

Colleen Zewe

Saint Mary's '18

I love fall, holidays, PSLs and forcing my dog to take pictures with me for Snapchat.
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