Let's Talk About Sex, Baby!


    When it comes to sex, my parents’ mindset was pretty simple, DO NOT DO IT. When I was a teenager I was embarrassed to talk about anything revolving around sex.Yet, I’ve considered sex as the most basic biological behavior which cultures need in order to survive. It is a process of reproduction.

Yet Gloria G Brame expresses in her book Different Loving:

'If the unique function of sex is reproductive— and the only reason why men and women should engage in sex is for the purpose of creating new life —then only heterosexual intercourse is normal."

Sexual behaviors were wildly mentioned or appeared in all sorts of ancient art or mythology world-wide. People from the past were not as conservative as we thought they were. In ancient Chinese literature and greek mythology, incense was seen frequently.

So what is sex exactly?

Today it seems so inappropriate to bring up the capital S, or so it seems. Sex jokes are still popularly used in all sorts of tv shows, even kid’s movies. For example, the hidden “hooker” joke from Toy’s Story. “Media portrayals reinforce a relatively consistent set of sexual and relationship norms, and the media rarely depict sexually responsible models”(Brown 42). So, even when the topic is so widely discussed, people still hold the “traditional” norm perspective of sex.

Last year I brought a heart shape crop (BDSM sex toy) for my friend’s birthday gift. Even as I was stepping into the sex shop I could hear people passing the shop judging the advertisements in the sex shop window—“explore your curiosity”. I even caused quite a reaction when I went straight to meet some of my friends after the purchase. “Oh, my god! Barbie! You didn’t!” is all I can get from the screams.

Why are people judged by participating in certain sexual behaviors? Is it really our fault that we like kinky sexual behaviors? Is it really freaky and weird after knowing how large some of the most “kinky” communities are?

Being a nerd, I have attempted to break it down in a physiological and philosophical way. After books, I was even more confused than I was for that some scholars will take a whole hundred pages just trying to define the terminology sex. Hence I do not and will not have any conclusion to the subject, but that does not mean that I should not be further discussing the subject “sex”.

I would like to end the article with a word from a wise woman I know. A friend’s mother had told me about her openness about sexuality with her daughter. She said,“when I was little, no one said nor educated me about sex, that’s why I raised my kid openly discussing sexuality. Because I don’t want them grow up ignorant and feeling embarrassing about sex when it is the most natural and beautiful thing”.



Brame, Gloria G., et al. Different Loving: a Complete Exploration of Consentual S & M Sex. Villard Books, 1993.

Brown, Jane D. “Mass Media Influences on Sexuality.” The Journal of Sex Research, vol. 39, no. 1, 2002, pp. 42–45. JSTOR, JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/3813422.