As I’ve been sick this week, I’ve had to limit my diet away from greasy and spicy food (great, my two favorites). However the more I’ve tried to limit myself, the more I seem to crave those foods. Somehow, this made me remember how I used to explain reverse psychology in romantic relationships by using food metaphors. By observing people’s romantic relationships around me and reflecting my own experiences, I can say that it seems like we’re always attracted to (and even obsessed with) that one piece of cake that we know we can’t have.
This has happened to me more than a couple of times. Even when it comes down to small crushes, I’ve always been the one who’s become obsessed, or would hold on for the longest period of time just because the other person didn’t like me back in the same way. Not only did this hurt my own emotions, it also destroyed my self esteem. So why would do this to myself?
I’ve been telling people since middle school, dating is like shopping for clothes. You might be familiar with this scenario: you’ve found the perfect outfit, but its either one size off, or a little too expensive. You want it so badly that when you try it on in the fitting room, you end up either ripping the clothes off and wishing you could make yourself fit into the outfit, or spending a week’s grocery money on it and starve for the weekend.
If this sounds familiar, think about whether there has been a time period in your life that you’ve held on to someone in such a way, and how badly it ended. I know I certainly have, and despite the valuable lessons I’ve learnt from those experiences, it seems they’ve done nothing but push my dignity off the cliff.
It’s no secret for human beings to always want the things they cant have, especially in romantic relationships. At least based on my experiences, the result has always come out negatively in terms of doing nothing but to embarrassing myself. If you are reading this and found that what I’ve been saying is relatable to your situation, here’s my advice: we don’t have to do this.
I am a big believer in maintaining self-love when entering a relationship. After all, the longest relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself. As cheesy as it might sound, it’s also the best advice I can give. Rejection and heartbreaks are unavoidable, but it’s important to keep yourself motivated even when you feel broken into pieces. If someone is putting you into a position where you feel like you should be putting yourself down in order to be with them, then they are not someone you’ll want to stick with. In my option you deserve the whole world, but if someone is making you feel like you don’t deserve this and more then it’s probably a good time to step back and reevaluate your situation.
I am a big believer in maintaining self-love when entering a relationship. Think about this: how can you love someone else completely if you don’t know how you should be treated yourself in the right way?