Over focusing on my academic careers, I’ve realized I had nothing else but my works in my life. It mights seems like a good thing to a lot of people at the moment as a workaholic, one single rejection in a professional occasion is devastating for me. So I panic. How can I deal with rejection with dignity other than just starting to cry and fighting the person that rejected me? In life it seems like no matter how much of a people-pleaser I’m trying to be, I’m still not able to dodge the bash of rejection. Despite the damage rejection had caused in my emotion life, it seems like I never analyzed just why it has had so much power over me.
It was never the rejection itself that caused any negative emotions, it was what rejection made me think of myself that was beating up my own mind. My ego is the main reason of my frustration caused by rejection, the thought of, “how come you don’t want me?” appears in my head whenever I get rejected. Ironically, the self-confidence I built up the years had become a double sided sword. The amount of pride I hold just exposed my insecurity.
After all, rejection simply seemed like proof of how I’m not good enough. It doesn’t matter what approval or compliment I’ve had previous to the rejection, because of that rejection nothing else counts. My rational mind is telling me that what my emotions are telling is invalid, but I still can’t just ignore those little voices of negative self talk in my head. It is quite hypocritical when I’ve been the one to tell people to take a step back when I’m the one who got stuck in a black hole facing my emotional difficulties.
This kind of emotional roller coaster is throwing me back to middle school, when I got rejected by my first crush. It seems to me now, looking back, that there is no difference between a rejection from my crush and my school.
Now that’s when thing start to become a bit relevant, or at least I’m trying to make them relevant. In life, rejection is unavoidable, that is a fact. So how should we keep the impact to minimal when it actually happens? I would be a hypocrite to give any advice since I was always the one who became most departed when get rejected. Every time I look back I do have an idea of what I could’ve done to cope with rejection a little better; you live, you learn.
I came to a conclusion as a reminder myself whenever I get blinded by my emotions caused by a rejection. When we get caught up by emotions, it’s so easy to be blinded. But no matter how important the thing is that you were rejected by, it’s crucial to maintain your dignity. Maybe you proposed to your partner and they said no, maybe you applied to your dream school or job and they said no; no matter who said no, it is not the end of the world. I’ve had experiences begging to be accepted after a rejection, and I’m confident to say that of those experiences were worth a temporary blow to my self-esteem. I have gained nothing but lessons.
Coping with rejection is a much more of internal battle to me. It seems that whenever I was rejected lost all forms of self love. Rejections to me are ways of life telling me I am not good enough or even sometimes, that I’m not worth it. After I become “emotionally stabilized” by too many potato chips and ice cream, I’m finally calm enough to say: If you ever feel the same way, feeling like you’re less than because of rejection, let me tell you it’s not valid. In life, every individual simply has their own different standards and thoughts and it is more than normal that one cannot fit in to be an other’s favorite. Just like you maybe don’t like every single person on this planted, people might be feeling the same, it is not that personal at all.