Sorry Not Sorry: 10 Things Only People Who are Obsessed with the Color Black Will Understand

1. “I will definitely spill something on this.”

Your mom used to say this to you while she made you try on Easter dresses from the Children’s Place. You rolled your eyes then, but her rationale has stuck with you after all these years. More black and less white, please. Mom says.

2. “White is always so see-through, and if I have my period this white bikini is definitely out of the question. Yeah, I’ll definitely get more wear out of it if I order it in black.”

Summer is made up of three months. A little over twelve weeks in total. It will only be your time of the month three out of those twelve weeks-- maybe even less. And, if you’re worried about water, how often do you actually spend your beach day riding the waves with your boogie board? If you really think about it, a white bathing suit for the summer would totally work in your favor. But the problem is you don’t want to think about it. The “what if” question haunts you. What if a nipple shows during fam vaca? What if I have a camel toe? The list goes on. You know your comfort zone and you’re too content to leave it.

3. “I’m too pale to wear white. That dress will wash me out.”

Your rude roommate probably said that about some girl she doesn’t like on Instagram once. The comment replays in your mind: “Ew she looks awful in that dress. It totally washes her out.” No, your roommate never applied this to you, but you take her reasoning and use it as yet another excuse to opt for the classic (somewhat overdone) LBD.

4. You’ve started basing your outfits around your “Smokey Eye” Naked palette.

You know if you pair a smokey eye with a pink dress you run the risk of looking like Avril Lavigne circa 2004, so you decide to play it safe with an all-black ensemble. You’ve become slightly obsessed with your new cosmetics, so why wouldn’t you want to match our wardrobe accordingly?

5. You plan your outfits around the temperature or tasks you plan to undertake that day.

It’s no secret that black hides sweat well. If I’m presenting in class, you bet your life I’m wearing black. Gray leggings at the gym? Definitely not. Your friends roll their eyes but, for you, this is just another scenario where black wins again.

6. You sport your favorite black jeans despite yesterday’s salad dressing mishap.

Ah, the beauty of the color black. No one can tell how big of a slob kebab you really are.

7. Bad b*tches don’t wear pink.

8. “Does this top come in black?” may rank second on your personal list of most commonly used phrases.

9. “Black on black always looks good together” is your life motto.

As a college gal, you’re stressed enough as it is. You don’t have time to worry about trivial matters like finding the right pant to match that navy bodysuit. Black on black just makes your life easier. Who doesn’t want that?

10. You’re stuck on the idea that wearing black makes you look skinnier. 

They say black makes you look at least five pounds lighter, so why wouldn’t you want to wear it all the time? Look good, feel good right?