I’ll admit it –– I’m an aspiring songwriter.
It’s not something I tell people very often. In fact, for the past year since I’ve started writing music, I’ve been doing a great job of hiding it. It’s not that I find it embarrassing, I just don’t normally share the songs I write since they’re very personal and I’m afraid of what people may think of them –– of me. But now that I’m a month into college, I think it’s about time that I start putting myself out there as a songwriter (letting people know through Her Campus is one way to get the word out, I suppose. Is this article actually a shameless plug? Perhaps).
I’m a commuter, so I come onto campus early to secure a good parking spot (if you know, you know). If I have time, I’ll grab a venti Mango Dragon Fruit refresher with lemonade and berries at The Market and make my way over to the practice rooms with music blasting in my Airpods for a caffeinated songwriting session. The rooms are usually empty in the morning, which is good for me since I get so excited that I start to talk to myself when I’m practicing. Is it a bad habit that I should break in the near future? Maybe. Is it just the caffeine? Also maybe. I only write when I feel like it, though –– inspiration comes to me at the craziest times.
“honest to goodness”
The song I’m working on, “honest to goodness”, is a ballad to those who have lied to me by pretending to be my friends and those I’ve lied to by putting on fake smiles all the time. I sing about not being able to open up about my feelings because those who think they know me think that I don’t have problems to begin with. Throughout the song is this message of how I wish that the world would be more honest and genuine so maybe I could be, too. It’s arguably one of my most personal songs as of right now, which is part of the reason why I’m so anxious to share it with people. I feel more authentic when I write my own songs, because music has an inexplicable way of invoking one’s true emotions, and I want to be able to show people that part of me.
So, why am I telling you this? I want to be able to share the content of my songs and practice being authentic outside of songwriting so that my potential audience knows what I’m about. I want to have the courage to share the things I’m passionate about and the things I’m struggling with. I shouldn’t have to put up a front all the time. This year, I just want to be known as Erin.
Stay tuned for another song update! I’ll hopefully be performing this soon!