30 Signs You Go To SHU

1.     You drive to campus 45 minutes before your class actually starts because you know you won’t be able to find parking.

2.     You think your phone is blowing up with text messages but it’s actually just Sacred Heart blowing up your email.

3.     The Chartwells employees know you on a first-name basis.

4.     Greek Row consists of a line of rocks-- not houses.

5.     You spend half of the time you’ve allotted for your workout waiting for a treadmill. Just being in the gym counts as exercise, right?

6.     You find yourself homeless when freshman take over. Suite Life of Sacred Heart, anyone?

7.     Your Tuesday nights are spent at a local dive bar in downtown Bridgeport.

8.     You find yourself doing your shopping at Outtakes. Yes, I’ll have a chai latte, a box of tissues and a gallon of milk, please.

9.     You begin planning your meals around which vendors accept the SHU card.

10.  Riding the shuttle leaves you praying for your life…and your sanity.

11.  Pub Safety tickets you for parking on campus despite the fact that you’re a registered student paying fifty grand a year to spend a majority of your time there.

12.  Only half of the tables in the library have outlets. If you can’t plug in your computer, what’s the point of going?

13.  You stand in line for thirty minutes just to get a stack of Chip’s pancakes on Sunday morning.

14.  Some of your most memorable experiences have occurred at late night Merritt bonding over fried mac n’ cheese bites.

15.  You’re boys with the owner of G-star so you spend the night drinking free beers and eating free pizza. Compliments on the house.

16.  …and you’re also a proud owner of a Golden Star Café t-shirt. And no, you find no shame in wearing it to class.

17.  Registering for class is more stressful than the class itself.

18.  Your football team is practically famous. Yes, we have two NEC Champion rings.

19.  You casually run into Bobby Valentine on campus, nbd.

20.  If you’re not from Long Island, you’re from New Jersey.

21.  Don’t leave your personal belongings on the floor in your room-- you never know when a pipe could burst and ruin everything you own.

22.  When you’re counting down the days until you turn 21 and can spend your weeknights at Red’s.

23.  You tell your mom you need more “general” money for books, but you’re actually spending it on drafts at Red’s.

24.  You live for 63’s mashed potatoes.

25.  First nice day you’ll see girls showing up to class in darty outfits.

26.  Your Instagram caption every Friday is “Oh no Sono.”

27.  Roncalli Hall replaced Coyote Jack’s with a gym and an ice cream parlor. Can you say counterproductive?

28.  Thanks to Catholicism, you reap the benefits of two spring breaks.

29.  If you didn’t live in J-Hill, you didn’t live at all.

30.  You’re anxiously waiting for the day you can stand on the Sacred Heart University entrance sign with your diploma in hand.