Watching Peter Morgan’s season 4 of The Crown, I think every girl can agree that it showed the perfect ways that men can face and struggle with toxic masculinity. The characters in the show, Prince Charles and Princess Diana, try their best to make everything work and they do, for a while. Until gradually, Prince Charles and toxic masculinity meet up. He is intimidated by the peoples’ love for Diana and how much they trust her. Rather than being secure about this, as the next in line for the throne, he gives in to the insecurity and turns against Diana.
This incredible storyline resonated with many women. It showed the everyday struggle of ‘Do your best but don’t do too good to intimidate those around you’ or ‘Be successful but don’t be bossy’ and ‘Be perfect but not too perfect that men feel insecure.’
What these unspoken traditions tell us is as a woman, know your place. It is men who must be the breadwinners– not women.
How girls are torn down
Growing up, I dreamed of making it big. I looked into all the major STEM careers and wanted to become an engineer, a doctor or even go into politics.
The lesson I learned is that in any career, any industry, there are always women who make it big. They make it their dreams and they work hard for it. But what I didn’t know as a child was that when I would be chasing my dreams, I would be labelled because of my sex. We’ve all heard it before and experienced it too. The passive-aggressive comments of being ‘bossy’ or ‘difficult’ when we voice our opinions.
In Grade 11, my high school organized a job fair where they brought in people from many industries to help answer questions and show us what opportunities might lead ahead of us. The school’s gym was full of signs and tables with displays of what each career could look like.
One of my friends approached the table where two engineers were answering questions. She looked at the display and was reading one of the brochures when one of them asked, “Are you thinking of going into engineering?” They were skeptical and when she replied that she was thinking of it, she got a toxic response.
“Well, if you go into this, people are going to think of you as a bitch.”
It was direct and blunt. In the moment, she just simply walked away but later reported it to a teacher who in turn made sure the man was never asked to come back and his employer notified of the reason why.
The impacts of these words
It was a simple word but it carries a lot of impact that impressionable girls learn quickly growing up. It’s not rare that we hear it, especially when we threaten the sensitive egos of men more than twice our age. But why is a powerful and confident woman so intimidating to men? Why is it so accepted that men should be the breadwinners, the man of the house?
More and more women continue to break through the glass ceilings put into place to so clearly hold us back.
I think toxic masculinity impacts men more unconsciously than they think. It ties its ways into sexism in small, subtle ways that can be hard to recognize.
There are always going to be times where insecurity makes us feel not enough or not worthy but there are two paths that a person can take: recognize these feelings and do your best to understand them or give into the insecurity and anger. Choose the former, not the latter. Next time you feel like it, give yourself some internal reflection.
Unfortunately, in The Crown, Prince Charles made his decision to give into the toxic masculinity values. He needed to be the best and he couldn’t stand that Princess Diana outshone him. Don’t be like Prince Charles. Be like Princess Diana who carried on, without her husband’s or the Royal family’s support and continued to be The People’s Princess.