Ever since I was small, I dreamed of my older cousin having the perfect wedding. I used to act as an honorary wedding planner and convince her to get married in a big ballgown with a “winter wonderland” theme. Lots of episodes of “Say Yes to the Dress” and “Four Weddings” with my mom had clearly prepared me.
Many years later in 2021, when my days as a “wedding planner” were far over, my cousin was engaged and it was super exciting! In a beautiful and emotional care package, I was asked to be a bridesmaid. Of course, I said yes! But then it hit me: at 19 (20 for when the wedding would occur) I was about to become a bridesmaid before I had even attended a wedding! In many aspects, I didn’t know what to expect, but I ended up having an amazing time and was honored to be a part of such a special day!
Here are some highlights from my experience along with some tips I have, from one former bridesmaid to anyone who might be a bridesmaid (or anyone in a bridal party!) in the future.
- Getting Your Hair and Makeup Done is Amazing
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This is very subjective of course, but this was the first time I ever got my makeup professionally done and can I just say, I’m obsessed! I was super impressed with the friendly makeup artist, who fun fact, is a Rutgers alumni! It was such an exciting and relaxing experience. I was pretty unsure about what I wanted, so I told her something along the lines of “bridesmaid appropriate with a touch of soft glam.” I still remember audibly gasping and my jaw dropping when I saw myself for the first time, I was truly transformed. This was also my first time wearing false eyelashes, which I had been dying to try for forever. Despite fears of discomfort, after the first few seconds I didn’t even notice they were on, and wow were they stunning. Even though I have experience with getting my hair done, this hairstylist was able to see exactly what I wanted and went above and beyond with a gorgeous half-up half-down look. If you are getting your hair and makeup done, I encourage you to come in with a slight idea of what you want to make things easier, but also to be open to other ideas. The most important thing is to be honest and advocate for yourself. If something is not working for you, let them know so you can look and feel your best.
- Don’t be Afraid to Cry (Or Not Cry!)
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Emotions are normal! Crying is obviously a big part of weddings, and I witnessed many people shedding a few tears before, during, and after the ceremony (although, be careful if you’re wearing makeup!). However, if you don’t, that’s okay also! Personally, I did not cry, but we all process our feelings differently. Just because you aren’t crying, doesn’t mean you’re not as excited, proud, or emotional as anyone else.
- Eat!
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It’s gonna be a long day. Depending on what time the ceremony and reception are, you could be going a while without any food before the reception festivities begin. With the adrenaline of the day, I was able to survive on pieces of a plain bagel and quite a few Baked by Melissa mini cupcakes. But please, make sure to have a light snack (maybe one a bit healthier than mine) so you know you’ll be ready to go. I imagine if I did not have that little food in my stomach, it would probably grumble loudly during the vow exchange. It can be hard to find the time during the chaotic day, but it’s so crucial! Pro tip, despite how hungry you are, please do not eat all of the appetizers before the main course. And I’m totally not saying this because I ate too many potato skins and boneless wings at cocktail hour!
- Be on the Lookout and Ask for Help
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Now, this might sound questionable because as a bridesmaid, you’re there to help the bride! But to put things in perspective: I was the second youngest member of the bridal party, besides my youngest cousin who was a junior bridesmaid, and I was the only person in the group whose first wedding it was. Before the big day, I wasn’t able to be the most involved bridesmaid because of school commitments, however, on the day of, I was able to learn a lot from the bride herself and other more experienced bridesmaids. If you don’t know what to do, where to go, etc, you can always ask other members of the bridal party and they will look out for you. Of course, if the bride isn’t busy, take the time to offer kind words, emotional support, and ask if they need anything! I often was an observer, seeing if there was anything I could do quietly to help out. I also took the time to assist my younger cousin, take some photos, and hand phones off to whoever needed them.
- It’s Gonna Be Great (Please Don’t Worry!)
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Like anyone else would be, I was worried about a multitude of situations. What if I fell walking down the aisle? What if I embarrassed myself in some way? Remember that any little mishap will NOT matter in the long run. Keep calm and know that you are important to the bride either way! Doing the best you can will be the most important. A tip for walking down the aisle: I was told to go slightly slower as compared to faster, and I think it really did help. Don’t be afraid to slow down if you feel you’re going too fast. Enjoy yourself, and if anything slightly unfavorable does happen, everyone will be focusing on the couple getting married anyway!
