In 2009, I was twelve years old. What a crucial age! We are so impressionable and dependent on others. We’re in that in-between moment of life where everything seems to be of the utmost importance. When I think about what I was like at twelve years old, I reminisce about the time when I cut my own bangs and how I wore the same Hollister sweatshirt over my clothes every single day. I was pretty irritating, a teacher’s pet of course, and extremely insecure since I was bullied a lot. I was not physically attractive, and I had the most nasally voice ever, plus a cute little unibrow. At twelve years old, despite being bullied, I had a lot of friends. I was happy. I’m so thankful to still have some of those friends to this day as an adult! So if I could write a letter now to my 2009 self, it would go a little something like this…
Dear Susie Q,
You’re awesome! You are so bubbly and have a beautiful soul and outlook on life. You have such a hunger to learn. But, you are too impatient. You also have a very short temper. Relax, and don’t sweat the small stuff. Just breathe. You can still stand up for yourself. I know you want to cry when those bullies know just what to say to get under your skin. Put them in their place but don’t stoop to their level. I know it isn’t easy, but learning the skill of communication and getting your point across in a respectful way is an essential life skill, which I am still learning myself. I know, I know- you want to tell them off and embarrass them. Believe me, it may grant you instant gratification, but it won’t work. They just want a rise out of you, and they’ll get it if you yell. So try not to… and don’t worry- I still see them around once in a while, and they’re not doing too well, so just focus on being the best you! Karma will get them eventually.
I’m so proud of you for being so passionate about your music. You’ll be singing for plenty of years to come, and in college you’ll join an a capella group that will change your life and make you the best singer you can be. Don’t stop practicing! And don’t fear the competition. You have such a unique voice and no one can ever sound like you. And that is really amazing. You may be a little nasally, but by the time you get to college, you’ll forget your voice was ever nasally to begin with.
And by the way, I know how annoying it is when people call you skinny. It’s so messed up, right? Especially when they are not healthy at all! Like what the heck? Don’t ever listen to them. Be proud of your body, it is so beautiful. Eat right, exercise, and listen to your doctor and your parents. They have your best interest in mind and will never make fun of you like extremely ignorant and inconsiderate family members and acquaintances tend to do. By college you will be a hardcore vegan and animal activist, and people won’t be calling you “too thin” any longer. They will be asking you for advice on how to eat healthier and feel better… and you will be overjoyed to help them!
You will be learning a lot of crazy things about the world when you get older. There are a lot of awful and miserable facts of life, but you will also be so inspired by so many beautiful and wonderful people you meet and you will be introduced to so many worthy movements and nonprofits in the world. Whatever you do, never stop pushing. You can do anything and the limit truly is the sky. You are so loved. You determine your own limits, and you are in charge of your destiny and your successes in life. Take risks, work hard, and never stop loving those who deserve it.
Keep being you, and question everything.
That’s how we grow.
Xo, Susie