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Wellness > Mental Health

How You Can Use Your Love Language to Practice Self-Care

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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Rutgers chapter.

I’m sure we’re all familiar with the 5 main love languages- acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, and gift-giving. In fact, there’s a whole book called “Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, who popularized the idea of this interesting concept. These languages are often discussed in the context of romantic connections and are useful for understanding how people express and receive love. However, there’s a hidden purpose that they serve- their roles in practicing self-care. Understanding your love languages can help you figure out how to best care for yourself. After all, we deserve to treat ourselves with the same love and care we provide others. So let me share some activities and self-care ideas you can practice according to your love language. 

Acts of service

First, we got acts of service. People who have acts of service as their love language believe in actions over words. Things like doing chores, running errands, or helping with tasks enable such people to show love and affection. They feel most loved when people go out of their way to do things for them and since this is also my love language, I have a whole list of things I like to do for myself. Let me share some with you.

1. Cook/Bake your favorite dishes: I absolutely love being in the kitchen and if you’re like me, this is a great way to show yourself some love. By making yourself your favorite meal, you’re actively serving and caring for your own needs and celebrating your efforts.

2. Clean your room: A clean room is a clean mind. There is nothing more therapeutic than cleaning and organizing your personal space. Not only will this give you relaxation, but also reduce stress and improve your mood. 

3. Unfollow accounts on social media: If you need a digital detox, you should consider unfollowing people or accounts that don’t serve you any purpose. This is a powerful act of self-care and can help you create a virtual environment that adds to your growth, self-esteem, and confidence. 

Quality time

Nothing screams love more than undivided attention and shared adventures. This involves having deep conversations, engaging in activities, or just simply valuing someone’s presence. But, how can we spend some quality time with ourselves?

1. Go on a nature walk: Being in nature allows you to be fully present in the moment. It provides an opportunity for solitude and introspection which is nourishing for the soul and spiritually fulfilling. 

2. Go on a solo date: If you have been wanting to visit a certain place for a while, whether it’s trying out a new coffee shop or doing an activity, going on a solo date is perfect to treat yourself. 

3. Watch the sunset: Taking the time to witness natural beauty is so zen. It’s a type of meditation that connects you with the world around you, while also allowing you to quiet your mind. 

words of affirmation

Words of affirmation are a love language that focuses on verbal expressions of love. For people who share this love language, hearing words that are deeply meaningful and reassuring makes them feel valued. If this is for you, then these are some things you can do to cherish yourself.

1. Write yourself a love letter: Okay, hear me out. Love letters don’t always have to be from a romantic partner. Take a moment to reflect on all the things you admire about yourself and jot these thoughts in a letter. This is a powerful reminder of your self-worth and trust me, you’ll feel so appreciated after you read your letter.

2. Listen to an empowering podcast: By actively choosing to listen to something that uplifts and energizes you, you are priotizing your emotional well-being and needs. Podcasts can offer positive messages and encouragement to their audience, which can help you feel more confident. 

3. Journal: Write positive things down, whether that’s everything you’re grateful for or love about yourself, or even something you want to manifest into your life. This is a reinforcing tactic to help you achieve positive self-esteem. 

physical touch

Now, let’s talk about physical touch. Gestures such as hugs, kisses, holding hands, or anything that requires physical contact fascinate the people who have this love language. Forms of touch make them feel valued and create a meaningful connection with their partners. If this is your love language, these are some ways you can show yourself some love!

1. Get a massage: Massages are deeply nourishing for the body. Beyond its physical benefits, a massage also has mental advantages such as providing you stress relief and relaxation.

2. Work out: Whether your idea of working out is running on a treadmill at the gym, or finding a calm place to do yoga, taking the time to move your body is a great way to practice self-care. Exercising helps you connect with your mind and body fostering mindfulness and your overall well-being. 

3. Take a relaxing bath: Enjoy a bath with soothing oils and bath salts. The water will relax your muscles and provide a comforting sensation of touch. 


Last but not least, the language of gift-giving. Gifts don’t always have to be expensive. Sometimes, its the thought and effort that goes behind it that truly matters. If this is your love language, consider treating yourself to something special every now and then.

1. Buy yourself flowers: This is a beautiful way to practice self-love. Flowers can brighten up any space, especially if they’re your favorite ones. It’s a simple yet nurturing way to give yourself a small token of appreciation. 

2. Get your nails done: A nice manicure is a great way to pamper yourself. Not only will it make your nails look amazing, but it will also uplift your mood and raise your confidence. This is the perfect way to remind yourself why self-care should be a priority. 

3. Invest in your interests: If you’ve been wanting to buy something for a while, I say go for it (make sure it doesn’t break your bank though!). Whether that’s a new book, or wanting to try a new restaurant, or anything else you keep stalling to buy, go ahead and treat yourself.

So now that we’ve seen ourselves through our love languages, let’s remember that self-love is a language that everyone should have. By recognizing your way of receiving love, you can tailor your needs and self-care practices to give yourself the affection you require. Take some time to care for yourself and indulge in things that bring you joy. After all, you deserve it!

Isha Sharma

Rutgers '25

Hi! My name is Isha and I'm studying at Rutgers University-New Brunswick.