I recently re-watched How to Be Single, which earned itself a 47% on Rotten Tomatoes. I don’t know about you but junk rom-coms are my absolute go-to. This genre of cinema is the only one where I can hardly ever truly judge on plot and value because I’m just so happy relishing in the fantasy. However, within the first few minutes of How to Be Single, there was a line that instantly clicked with something I have been thinking about lately: how relationships and dating form our lives, specifically as women. I used to never before pay much mind to heavy conversations surrounding feminism as I supported the ideals but didn’t actively partake in the movement. In fact, I still don’t.
I am less interested in the direct injustices and political, economic, or even societal aggressions but more interested in the self. The psychology and reasoning behind how women view themselves is what piques my interest, most specifically with the simple notion of dating. What was the magic line from How to Be Single you wonder? “Why do we always tell our stories through relationships?” I myself have yet to find myself in a real relationship (as always cue in the world’s smallest violin). However, I do find myself explaining instances in my life through the men I was seeing at the time. Like, the best dinner I ever had, or when I saw that movie, or the amazing mini day trip.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am independent and I can handle being alone quite well. Yet I choose almost instinctively to define my experiences attached to men, as if I only indulged myself, experienced moments, and did things when I was in the company of a man. What is it about that romantically or sexually involved other being that becomes so fundamental? In a time where we are recognizing new genders, sexualities, and trying to redefine roles and expectations, I still see “crushes” and “matches” ruling. Why do we keep searching instead of just letting things flow? Is the age-old assumption that man and woman were created for the simple notion of procreation, the true fundamental basis of humanity? Are we destined to allow our hormones and emotions rule?