Women are often put in dangerous situations or made to feel unsafe. Anything from walking home alone after work, driving alone at night, or even just sitting in your house alone can feel terrifying. As someone who is without a doubt over paranoid, I have come up with a list of creative ways to stay safe and defend yourself. As women, we need to not only work to teach men to do better but we also need to keep ourselves safe. No matter how hard we try, unfortunately, there are some bad people out there.
- Carry a Glass Bottle
This may seem violent and outlandish but it might save your life one day. Suppose you are being followed by someone, and they corner you, and you do not have anything to protect you but every day items. A glass bottle is something you can bring with you at all times, and can also be used as a means of protection. The best way to make it out of this situation is to fight and run away for safety. A glass bottle has multiple functions- you can break it and have a sharp defense mechanism. As it is solid, you can also use it to hit the perpetrator on the back of the head with a force to create a bigger blow. Violence is always a last resort and should only be used in extreme circumstances. However, this everyday item can come in the clutch if you find yourself in a bad situation.
- Walk with a Fierce Purpose
I am proud to say that I am NOT the friend in my circle who gets hit on, cat-called, or really receives any demeaning remarks. This is because I walk with an intense and aggressive fiery nature. Men typically are intimidated by me because I give off the “This will not end well for you if you talk to me.” vibe. I am not saying this is the kind of vibe you always want to give off, but it helps when you are walking home alone or in a situation where you might not feel safe. This has nothing to do with clothes and everything to do with attitude. Flaunt it and show them that you’re a force to be reckoned with.
- Confront a Perpetrator
This is one that you need to use extreme caution when doing, but based on experiences I have had that involved friends this has been an effective method to just call someone out. A simple “Hey can you stop?” or “I am not interested, please leave me alone.” should do the trick. You should only do this though if you are confident they will not become violent towards you, for example someone who does more minor but creepy things like non-stop texting,or constantly trying to hang out if you said no. Be careful, but in cases with friends of mine who received one too many creepy dm from someone who they are not interested in, confronting them has stopped the messages from coming. Do not worry about hurting someone’s feelings, especially if they are making you uncomfortable.
- Leave Prepared – Dress for Security
I get it, when you have a whole cute outfit chosen and shoes that may not be the most comfortable to go with them it is annoying to wear shoes that might not look as good but are not comfortable, which is as annoying as carrying a big bag constantly that carries all of your things but is clunky. Dressing for security means being prepared for all situations that might occur during your night out. There a few key items you can carry in a tote bag whenever you anticipate a late night and a walk home. It is good to have a comfy pair of walking shoes to change into during your time walking to and from a night out. It is important to be able to get out of bad situations quickly, and not risk falling or injuring yourself. Having good shoes is part of this. You can and should also always carry a waterbottle and mace in your bag when walking alone.
- Keep Regular Contact with At Least One Person
Scary things happen sometimes, so it is important to have one person close to you who knows your whereabouts. and will know that if you do not text the next day there is something wrong. It can be your mom, sibling, best friend, or anyone else you trust. By making sure you have at least one person that you can share your location with for your safety will help in case of an emergency. If you did not text them the next day, they will know there is something wrong. Even if your night does not end in a nightmare situation, you may still need someone to come to help you no questions asked. Keeping close contact with someone also can help you feel more secure about leaving your home.
Another helpful resource I use on my phone is the Noonlight app. This app is a security alarm with a button you can hold down on your phone. If you feel unsafe or in danger you can quickly release the button and police will get to your exact location ASAP.
- Know Basic Car Repairs and How to Diagnose a Problem
One of the most dangerous accidental situations you can get into is pulling your car over while it is having issues and not knowing what to do. This is both dangerous for the sake of your car and your own well being, and for the sake of perpetrators using your car problems as a way to get you alone and hurt you. Lying about car issues is also a way that perpetrators get victims to be stranded alone- they may tell you the car’s light is not working or something along those lines to get you to pull over. Know your vehicle, and know basic solutions to get yourself to safety. If you need to pull over do not accept help from anyone you do not know. Good people are out there who genuinely want to help, but if you are alone you can never be too safe.
- DO NOT TAKE THINGS OFF YOUR WINDSHIELD
A method of human trafficking that perpetrators use is leaving something under your windshield wipers. This may be a stuffed animal, a fake legal notice, or even a flower. If you see this tucked under your windshield wiper, please drive away immediately. Do not touch it. This is a method used to distract people from their surroundings so perpetrators can move in on a victim. Drive away as fast as you can and get somewhere safe, after thoroughly making sure you are not being followed.
- Keep a Full Tank of Gas
I know this one is also sometimes easier said than done but it is another step to help ensure your safety. It is important not to be stuck having to get gas at a weird time of night by yourself and to always be ready to get yourself out of a bad situation. Having a full or at least mostly full tank of gas is the best way to prepare for quick departures.
None of these tips are meant to scare anyone. They are here to help you see the importance of being alert, aware, and staying safe. By traveling in groups, knowing your surroundings, and following these tips, you will be more prepared to avoid or get out of bad situations.