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Shhh, it can be our little secret.

It all started as a way to get my emotions out – jot down a poem, rant about someone who wronged me in my journal, a little side project, an essay here and there. But what I didn’t know, is that I would become obsessed with you.

Through everything I’ve been through, my words are the things that have helped me cope. People honestly thought I was crazy: “You can’t really love writing, can you?” they’d ask. But boy, what they didn’t know is that you are the one thing that I have ever been truly in love with.

And I don’t think our little love affair is so bad.

Our whole lives we seek love, little did I know I’d find it in writing my thoughts down onto paper (er.. typing them on a screen?). I especially didn’t realize how much meaning I’d place behind every text that I craft – it must be a masterpiece flowing from my fingertips, or my love for you will be lost.

As a little girl, I roamed bookstores, feeling each and every spine in between my fingertips, dreaming that my name would eventually appear on the cover of one of those novels. I need the satisfaction of leaving something behind for someone else to learn from and read, thus sparking my love for you.

I am addicted to the feeling of flow; that feeling you give me when I am on a roll, and my fingers seemingly do all the work. There is an incoherent blending of thought into action, and action into reaction. It’s physics for the art lover, a loss of self consciousness, and oh I how I crave it.

I always carry you with me in the form of a notebook or laptop, and in my room lays a typewriter. Everywhere I turn it reminds me of you. I’m only new to exploring this vast and beautiful world, but one thing I do know is that this is just the beginning and I’ll be writing until the very end. Many of us think about how we will pass, I like to think I will die writing, in some sort of poetic Hemingway fashion.

I promise to love you until the end, my bittersweet love affair.

Maranda is a Senior Writing Arts and Emergency Management dual major at Rowan University. She hopes to become a published poetry author and eventually go to law school or work for Homeland Security. In her free time she enjoys listening to all genres of music, reading, creating art, writing poetry, and watching 80s movies.
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