You had a long day. You slide into bed and try to focus on relaxing. And yet you can’t. You wish that there’s some way that you can unwind. Just let loose a little bit before falling asleep. Then, suddenly, across the room you see it.
Your pink vibrator.
Perfect you think as you reach for it. You hold it in your hand as you absently scroll through your phone looking for the perfect video to get your night going. You click on one and it’s not right. It’s obvious that the woman in the video isn’t having fun despite her fake moans. You begin scrolling again and click on another and roll your eyes. Why is it in every video a guy gets a blow job but the woman gets nothing? Don’t people know that sometimes it takes a little bit more time for a woman to get ready for sex? You scroll and scroll until you find yourself more frustrated than you were before you started your conquest. Annoyed you put your vibrator on the pillow next to you. Like a scorned lover, you turn away from it and slowly fall asleep.
I don’t know about you but I’ve spent so many nights like this. Especially recently. We’re in the middle of a pandemic. I’m single as fuck and I literally have nothing else to do so I decided to do myself. For a while, it was nice exploring my body and understanding what I like. But the more that I experience porn the more I realize that I don’t like it.
I know that porn isn’t meant to be a reality. Nobody looks that good while having sex. But, it’s still frustrating that I don’t have the ability to watch porn that is meant for women. I can’t count all the times that I click on a video and think, “Yeah this was definitely made for men”. Even videos that feature lesbians are stilled angeled for male viewers rather than female ones. It sucks because I really believe that there is a huge female market for porn.
Trust me I’d like to turn off the feminist part of my brain and recognize that this video isn’t a reality. But thirty seconds in I can’t help but think, “Okay so what are the implications of this video?”. And even though it shouldn’t matter I feel like it does. And if I feel that way then I’m sure that other women feel so too. So if you are having porn blues like me just know; you aren’t alone.