- Be careful with who you are mean to in middle school! You’ll never know who will grow up to be a baddie!
- Do you regret being mean to the “ugly” girl yet?
- Real kings wait for a glow up!
- Make the haters pay!
Despite not having social media I can’t tell you how many times I heard messages like these. Pictures of middle school girls that look…absolutely normal…compared to fully grown women who perfectly fit beauty standards. These women caption their pictures saying that they had a “glow up” and that their haters are living to regret their mean actions.
I know that a lot of women don’t mean harm by writing things like this. I know that it feels cathartic to look back at a hard period of time and to celebrate your growth. But, this is a dangerous trend none the less because it perpetuates the idea that women’s worth stems from the way they look. Think about this; if a young girl grew up to be “ugly” does she still deserve to be bullied in middle school? Of course not. So stop acting like beauty is the sole reason to stop bullying young girls.
As someone who was mercilessly bullied throughout middle school, I can’t scratch the surface of how bullying psychologically affected me. My bullies would stick paper, erasers, and anything else small enough to fit into my naturally curly hair. They would make fun of my small rimmed glasses. The color of my skin. How fat I was. Anything that deviated from the norm was a perfect opportunity for people to make fun of me.
I might remove a rib and fit that perfect “slim thick” silhouette. Get surgically enhanced cheekbones so I can “slay”. Remove every bit of individuality so I can prove the bullies wrong. But that doesn’t change anything. Outwardly others might think that I am the epitome of beauty. But inwardly I can’t convince myself that I’m anything but ugly.
I stopped getting bullied by other people when I was in middle school. But, I’ve been bullying myself ever since.
And that’s the problem with this challenge. It showcases people who have been bullied for the way they look can only find escapism in…fitting a look. An impossible image that is only remotely achievable by having invasive surgery, starving yourself, and losing your individuality. The solution to bullying isn’t a glow up.
It’s empathy.
It’s telling people that middle school girls aren’t meant to look like models. They. Are Children. They should be able to grow up without worrying about sexualization. They should be able to grow up believing that they are beautiful so they can cultivate a healthy relationship with their appearance. They should be able to grow up appreciating their appearance but knowing that other aspects of themselves are so much more important. So instead of spreading messages that perpetuate beauty standards and undermines bullying choose to spread kindness instead. Here are a few captions to post instead of promoting glow up culture.
- Don’t be mean in middle school! You’ll never know how your cruel words can forever damage a person’s mental health and body image!
- Do you regret being a judgemental jerk yet? If so try to work out your need to demean other people to make yourself feel better. You deserve to be at peace and to better yourself through your actions.
- Real men respect all women despite their romantic and sexual attraction to them!
- Be kind. It’s literally that easy.