“Let’s talk about sex baby. Let’s talk about you and me. Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be.”- Salt N’ Pepa
Let’s talk about sex. Let the nitty gritty, the good and the bad, the unconventional, and the vanilla. First let me just safe sex is always the best. Now safe sex means different things for different people. For some safe sex could be waiting until marrige and practicing monogamy while married. For others it could be making sure they always have and use their oen condoms. There are also those who choose to get tested with their partners regularly. But most of all honest is aways one of the keps to making good decisions that lead to safe sex.
One key to a suxxessful sex life is knowing one’s body. We live in this odd world where it’s seen as taboo for a woman to know herself sexually. But in all actuality it is more beneficial for a woman to know herself inside and out; to know what she likes and doesn’t like. You need to be able tot alk to your partner and tell him what you like and don’t like.
Another thing that we tend to make awkward is the art of opening our mouths and telling him what we like and don’t like. What is I told you there is absolutely nothing wrong with telling your partner something isn’t pleasing you? What about if I said ome men actually like for you to guide them? They aren’t joking when they say, “Tell me how you like it.”, “Tell what you want.”, “Where do you want it?”, “You like that?” Don’t get me wrong there is an art to saying no. You do want to keep the mood going. Look into his eyes. Bite your lip and moan a little, then tell him, “Deeper baby.”, “Damn baby, yes! Now slow down.”, “To the left. Yes! Right there.”, “Yes, tht’s it!”
“The art of conversation with your partner isn’t just limited to the actual bedroom (or wherever the dead takes place.” Having a dicussion about sex with your partner should be completely normal. There is nothing worse than assuming you know what someone likes and being completely wrong. Talk about a mood killer. We shouldn’t assume we can flirt our way into sexual telepathy. This only aids in the culture of bad communication that we have been living in.
One huge reason to discuss sex prior to engagins in the act is to make sure you are well aware of what is expected of you in bed. Will sex be rough? Is your partner gentle? Maybe your partner wants to bring out his inner Christian Grey sans the psychological issues. Or maybe you have an inner Ms. Jackson if you nasty. Did you know that there is an entire community for that; places where you can go and perform “scenes” and people cater to your specific sexual needs? Whether they be of the S&M caliber or good plain ole vnailla sex. They are all over the country and they get together frequently to “perform” together. There is someone for whatever vice you have.
It is important that you take 5 key points away from this.
1) Safe sex, whatever that looks like for you is the best sex.
2) Figure out your body first.
3) Open your mouth and speak up, whether you like it or not.
4) Be open & honest about sex.
5)Don’t be ashamed of what you like.
Sex doesn’t have one face. Everyone likes different things. Not everyone is sexually compatible. What gets one person off can completely digust another and that is ok. We are all so different. Be open and as understanding as possible to some things. And remember different stroke for different folks.