Is Your BFF A Sociopath?

You made plans with your closest girl last week to grab smoothies and talk weekend plans. She blew you off five minutes after you were supposed to meet, and the week before that she bailed on studying to hang at her other friend’s apartment instead. This would be okay if it weren’t her sixth time flaking this month, and it would be more okay if she cared enough to apologize. Instead, you’re the one left bitter and struggling to find someone else to go to the music festival or new microbrewery with this weekend. Whatever your scenario is, big or small, it sucks when people cancel. 

Consideration is a word taken lightly by millennials and Gen X’ers. It’s overlooked and underrated, as we’ve grown to think it’s cool or effective to leave people open on Snapchat, for example, instead of communicating feelings. Our friendships feel so accessible through meme group chats and comment replies that we neglect the importance of investment in companionship. Like any financial investment, your bond with the people you depend on is only as strong as the quality time you spend with them. The issue is that this ignorant behavior is ‘trendy’ now. It’s ‘self-care’, and ‘not needing anyone but yourself’, which is an empowering message- until it leaks into your social life. Respecting others is an all important trait, but it’s becoming more and more uncommon. Why? 

Sociopaths, by definition, have extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior, as well as  a lack of conscience. In other words, an empathetic mind that values its companions will think about how their words and actions affect others. Sociopaths will choose themselves in any instance without feeling like they need to explain it to anyone, because they’re them. And it’s their world.

Relationships are a give-and-take, which seems like common sense. But when your friendship turns into a one-sided partnership of convenience, the person you’re dealing with might have deeper issues than being a flake.

People who consistently go through life working on their own schedule without regard to the world around them will not only reach a slump in their career when that strategy fails, but lose everyone in their circle. People want to feel like their time is valued, and the biggest way to disrespect someone is to say, “I don’t feel like seeing you and I’m going to text you that three hours after our plans because, well, we canceled anyway and I want to finish this series so I really don’t care right now.” If this sounds like you, you may have some work to do on yourself, as well.