The Impatient Lover

Sex is a wild card. There’s no universal how-to guide, and most people learn through a series of trial and error. Sex can be messy, erotic, silly, and even predictable. No two encounters, and no two lovers, are ever the same. Although it may be one of the biggest taboos and juiciest topics of conversation out there, the fact still remains – what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. That’s what makes its mystery so delicious.
 
While no one will ever know the exact intricacies of another’s love life, we’ve all experienced enough of the opposite sex to know basic dynamics that play out in the bedroom. First and foremost, in every tryst there is always an initiator. While both people want it (hopefully!), there is always that one person who is, if only by definition, slightly hungrier for it. In this situation, I will refer to these people as impatient lovers. While I could have easily termed them as the horny or oversexed ones, there’s just something I prefer about the term impatient lover. It evokes a sense of “I want you and I want you BAD…so have me NOW.” Its sexiness is subtle, yet throbbing with intention.
 
If you are a so-called impatient lover (ehem – like myself) or are currently having fun with one…read below!! I offer some tips on how to turn an impatient lover…into a patient (and perhaps more giving?) sexual partner.  
 
Your dilemma: ‘We can’t play sex games because we never finish them.’
A solution: Try rubbing ice on each other’s bodies. This is a great trick to perk ones senses and shock their libido into slowing down just long enough to enjoy something new.  Make your partner shiver by easing the ice over their body by putting it in your mouth or holding it in your hands. Either way, it’s straight forward and to the point. For an impatient person, sex games are difficult because they’re a tease…and impatient people don’t take teasing well. This game works for impatient people not against them – they only have a few minutes before the ice will melt so they have to move quickly!! And the moment the ice touches their skin, their electrified.
 
Your dilemma: ‘Whenever we’re out, I get too turned on and have to leave to hookup.’
A solution: Nighttime hot spots are cesspools for hookups. No wonder you get turned on – that’s the point! The rules for PDA in these venues are pretty liberal. It’s implied you will find someone hot and test the sexual waters on the dance floor before bringing them home to lay you. But if you (or your partner in crime) are so impatient for sex that it quickly compromises any time out of the house together, you need to take action. Remember when your parents used to say not to spoil your appetite with desert before dinner? Well they were wrong. In this case, satisfy your sweet cravings JUST BEFORE you go out. This should ease an impatient person’s sexual tension for…hopefully longer than an hour.
 
Your dilemma: ‘We skip foreplay because we enjoy the sex too much.’
A solution: Mistake, mistake, mistake! Has anyone ever seen a man drive a race car? The powerful, controlled rev up of his engine is JUST as important as the full throttle behind is go-speed. Women are basically more complex sports cars. We absolutely need a powerful rev of our engine to fire up and exceed the speed limit. If you find yourself in a situation where you are routinely skipping foreplay because in your mind “it’s just getting in the way of the sex,” listen up – you need to bait your partner. If you’re having a hard time keeping your hands off of each other, then you need to get creative with the foreplay. Find discreet ways to seduce each other BEFORE you even see each other. Throughout the day, find little ways to show them you’re thinking sexy thoughts about them. Strategically leave a photo of yourself on their phone for them to discover later. Or make a video of yourself and have it randomly mailed to them for an impromptu surprise. Even something as small as gazing with provocative eyes from across the restaurant table will ignite their libido. If you turn on the car early and let it warm, it’ll be ready when you are to take it for a joy ride.   
 
While I could go on and on suggesting ways to enhance and diversify your bedroom fun, I won’t. The most important advice I can offer is to find something that works for YOU (and whoever you’re bring home). If your impatience is interfering with your arousal potential, bedroom fun, or even social life – then you are limiting yourself. Explore ways to maximize the experience and make your sex life all the better.