So far, I’ve talked about a lot of aspects of the carnival, the entertainment, the games, a couple rides, because a carnival, especially a carnival of love, is complex. With all the complexities and details there has to be someone to keep it all together, this someone is known as the Ringleader.
If there is just one thing that you can take from the many phases of My Carnival of Love, I hope it is this: not only is the ringleader the most important person in the carnival, but the ringleader of your carnival is YOU. You’re the one who calls the shots.
I invested a year of my life into my relationship with Anthony; I had high points and low points, some of the saddest moments I’ve ever felt. However, I don’t regret my relationship with Anthony at all. There were some points that I am still embarrassed about, but in the end I learned so much. Without Anthony and the bad times and the good times, I would have never been able to be writing this right now. And in the end I gained something priceless, I wound up feeling so empowered, even stronger than before I ever met Anthony. When I was at my lowest point I needed a reminder, a reminder of who I was and what was important to me. I needed a reminder of who was in charge, in charge of me and my life. I had to remind myself that I am the Ringleader.
I have goals, I have dreams, and I have homework! I work, I am involved in clubs, I do community service, and have a GPA to maintain, and I am the only person who has control over these things, not Anthony, or how I’m feeling at the moment. hard as it was to remember sometimes, life goes on and my life has gone on and it is rich and full of so many rewarding things. Good grades, community service events, friends, and accomplishments. These are all in my control and, now that I think about it, are so much more important to me than some boy, even if it was the first boy I ever loved. Once I realized this I became invincible.
Although, I mainly apply this to school and other organizations I am involved in, it doesn’t stop there. When a guy comes up to me and asks for my number, I am the ringleader, I am in control of saying yes or no. When he texts me, I can choose to answer or not, or to text him first one day. When he tries to play me, I choose whether or not to forgive him or give him a second chance. In my life, in my carnival of love, I am the ringleader and so are you in yours!
Think about your life, your love life, your carnival, how can you step up to your position of the ringleader?