One of my favorite games to play at any carnival is the Leap Frog game. It’s the one where you catapult a rubber frog and try to get it to land on a lily pad. My strategy for winning the leap frog game: I just put the frog on and hit the catapult, just go for it! It’s a strategy that can be used in many aspects of life, such as your dating life. After a break up, eventually you’ll probably want to start dating again and we know that can be pretty difficult. It’ll probably take a while, but once you’re ready, just go for it!
When I first started going out with Anthony it was weird. I loved being single, I love the feeling, and even though I was happy to be with Anthony, it was hard to get used to not being a single girl anymore. In the year that Anthony and I were together I changed. I was always a big flirt and loved going out and interacting with people, guys in particular. I was always still respectful, but obviously this was something I couldn’t do while being in a relationship. So I had to kind of “train” myself to be an in-a-relationship-girl. I had to tone down the flirting of course and not check out other guys, I even tried avoiding eye contact to help, which it did. These are things that just became routine to me, I had to change my habits from a single girl to a taken girl and it took a while to get used to. However, a year later it was time to switch it back, another even more difficult challenge.
I remember one of the first times I saw a guy check me out since becoming single again. I immediately diverted my eyes, but then I stopped and thought about it and I realized it’s okay, I’m single again and hey, he was kind of cute! It was an eye opener for me. It opened up a pathway for me, the pathway back into my dating life. After a while I slowly took the steps to start dating again. I went out, met guys, a couple times I gave out my number and usually would have some fun text conversations, but when it came time to hang out or go on a date with a new guy, I was a lot more reluctant. I would make excuses or make plans with friends so that it wasn’t even a possibility. It was a really scary thought for me to be in a relationship with someone who wasn’t Anthony and going on a date would open up that possibility. Eventually though, I had to be like a frog and leap!
Just recently I met a new guy. He’s really nice, mature, smart, and goal oriented; a lot of the qualities that I like in a guy, but for some reason when he asked me out to dinner I still wasn’t sure. Was I ready? Was he really as nice as he seemed? So many questions popped into my head. I wound up deciding to just go for it; what did I have to lose? And so I did and I had a really nice time. We’ve hung out a couple times since and I’ve really enjoyed myself. I’m not saying I’m going to wind up marrying this guy or anything, I don’t even know if a relationship will come from it. I do know how liberating it felt to say yes to a date, to be single again, and do me. I felt like I was making a decision for Grace and not for “Grace and Anthony,” something I hadn’t done in way too long.
The best way to get used to being single again is the same way to win the Leap Frog game. Set the frog down and let it fly! Go for it! Of course you want to take your time to cope and reflect, but there will come a moment when you have to push yourself, take a risk, act, and don’t think so much, the way a single girl would. I can’t say it enough! Go for it! Be a single girl again! Maybe you don’t realize it, but there is definitely a difference between the way a single girl acts and a taken girl acts. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean your whole life stops and you don’t go out with your girls anymore, but there are definitely some different habits. Part of going through a break up (and being in a relationship) is getting used to your changed status and readjusting your habits.
What are some ways your habits change when you’re single or in a relationship?