Every Woman: Abuse

Did you ever feel like your boyfriend pulled you too hard when you weren’t ready to leave that party, maybe he only slapped you because he’s stressed out from school, or you need his approval on what to wear and who to hang out with? If you can relate to any of these scenarios, you’ve been a victim of abuse.  In society we ignorantly consider abuse just being physical like bruises and scars, but abuse can also exists in an array of forms such as physical, emotional, sexual, threats, intimidation, isolation, and economic.

Surprisingly Break the Cycle Inc. Reports that, “Nearly one-third of college students report physically assaulting a dating partner in the previous 12 months”.  Why is this statistic so concealed, probably because most females are unaware that their relationship is abusive?  Here are some signs of abuse are you afraid of your partner,
 
“Abusive relationships are characterized byextreme jealousy, emotional withholding, lack of intimacy, raging, sexual coercion, infidelity, verbal abuse, threats, lies, broken promises, physical violence, power plays and control games” (http://www.recovery-man.com).  There are three common types of abuse emotional, verbal, and physical; all three of these are common to our age group 16-21.    There are some signs to notice if you believe you’re in an abusive relationship (http://helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_e…):
Do you:

• feel afraid of your partner much of the time?

• avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?

• feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?

Does your partner:

• humiliate or yell at you?

• criticize you and put you down?

• blame you for their own abusive behavior?

• see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?

• act excessively jealous and possessive?

• control where you go or what you do?

• keep you from seeing your friends or family?

• threaten to commit suicide if you leave?

• force you to have sex?

• Always checking up on you

Ladies if you feel that your relationship falls within the category of these warning signs, you need to get out of this relationship immediately—don’t be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help; there are countless resources available….such as your college’s counseling services, a resident advisor, a friend, a faculty member, or a family member.  People if you see someone in distress or in a hostile situation with their significant other, don’t just walk by and observe, don’t be a bystander—because this could as easily be YOU or a loved one.