You Rider gals and guys had a lot of questions about relationships this time around and they did not hold back. See how Miss Lapaix gets through the questions. Hey, you might learn a thing or two!
Q. Do you think that after a relationship, or after dating someone, it is possible to be plutonic friends?
A. Of course. In most case, “ex’s” or “ex daters” hang around because they want a second chance. So, if your ex wants to spend a lot of time, is obviously flirting with you, or is getting jealous at other men in your life; then it’s definitely not a plutonic relationship. If you decide you want to be friends with an ex, make sure you are clear about your feelings, so that no one is confused by the friendship.
Q. What do you recommend a girl to do who thinks she may be “in love” with the guy she’s currently dating but she’s afraid to tell him?
A. This is a tough one! Most of us believe that the men should say it first, but we forget that they are human just like us and most are afraid of rejection, just like us. Regardless of whether he loves you or not, you love him and that is an important piece of information that he needs to know. So, I suggest you muster up your inner Joan of Arc and tell him how you feel. At the end of the day, it is essential that you both communicate and know how you feel about each other.
Q. What is the best way to let go of someone you are in love with who is not in love with you?
A. There is no better way to do such a thing. You must distance yourself from this person and move on with your life, whatever way you can. It isn’t an easy task; you’ll be going through the same motions as you would in a break up. But things will look up…know why? Well, if someone does not love you back, then they do not deserve to be with you. It only gives room for that person that will share the same sentiments you do. Be patient with yourself.
Q. If you are in a relationship and find more chemistry elsewhere, how do you decide which feelings to act on?A. Boy oh boy, does this happen often or what?!?!?! Usually, couples who have been together for some time, lose their spark, passion, or fire, which leaves room for “distractions,” if you know what I mean. I suggest that you first analyze what is missing from your current relationship. Is the sex boring? Do you still flirt with each other? Are you spending too much time together? Are the conversations you both have becoming dull? If so, then both of you have to sit down and discuss whether you want to fix the problems or not. If you do, then come up with creative ways to make your relationship interesting again. Spend some time apart, surprise each other, get creative with sex (sex toys, role-playing, etc). Most people start wandering because they have lost interest in their girlfriend/boyfriend. So, figure out your feelings, ask yourself if the other person is worth risking your relationship, or do you even want to be in a relationship? You’ll know what do to from there. BEST OF LUCK!
Q. What do you do when the man you have been dating for months is really starting to step-up in the relationship? I mean, he is doing your laundry, taking you out on dates, being sweet and affectionate, etc. BUT, he has not formally asked you out as his girlfriend?
A. I doubt a man will do laundry and spend money on a woman whom he does not consider his girlfriend. But, if you want an official answer, then just ask him why he has not asked you out properly? Be open with him and you will get the answer you are looking for. If you feel that he gives you a “beating around the bush” answer, then you should definitely ask more questions; he may be afraid of commitment but, judging from your description of him, he sounds pretty dedicated!