I’ve never been a fan of shoe shopping. I’ve learned how shop for hours on end for makeup, clothing, and craft supplies (Michaels is half my personality), but if you take me into a Payless I’ll implode on the spot.
In honor of the fact that I have to go shoe shopping soon (since I’ve procrastinated so long that both my soul and my soles have totally decayed), here is a list of shoes you might wear and what message each one sends to the people around you.
1. Converse
Image source: MissyOnMadison
You’re either a classic type matching these with simple-yet-chic items or you’re the most nondescript person on Earth.
Converse are easy to throw on with anything casual, but don’t take that as a hard and fast rule. Demi Lovato herself reports wearing her Converse with her dress. (Well baby, that’s just me.)
2. Chelsea Boots
Image source: SweetMonday
I have stared at your feet in jealousy many times. You’re a professional; you have your shit together. Also, I might just be in love with you.
Black Chelseas give off a sleek, sophisticated vibe while brown Chelseas have a smooth, earthy, and rustic feel.
3. Flats
Image source: ForTheLove
You’re a big fan of comfort. Beauty doesn’t need to know pain. You’re a sensible person who errs on the femme side. Maybe you believed you were going to be a ballerina before college shattered your dreams. (Dance anyway.)
4. Stiletto Heels
Image source: Fashion Agony
I don’t understand you. You may be a supernatural force with no feeling in your feet.
Maybe you’re a secret dominatrix. Or maybe you’re just self-conscious about your height. But you do you.
5. Birkenstocks
Image source: Teeth Are Jade
Just like the flat-wearer, you’re a big fan of comfort. You also care about the environment! Birkenstocks, which are made mostly of natural materials, are more easily repairable than most plastic-based shoes. This means you can repair them over time instead of buying a new pair whenever they wear out. A big plus for Mother Nature!
6. Socks with sandals
You’re the rare sorority girl who genuinely enjoys frat parties. You’re probably only able to pull this style off because you’re pretty. Stop trying to make socks with sandals happen.
7. Doc Martens
Image source: Paradigma
You might be an OG punk or you might have just jumped on the mainstream bandwagon yesterday. Either way, you’re hot.
Docs have a complex history with multiple subcultures. It’s a fascinating read for your next journey down the Wiki-hole!
8. Wedges
Image source: Bedazzles After Dark
I get it. You’re better than me.
9. Sneaker Wedges
Image source: Sporteluxe
Neither functionable nor fashionable. Thanks! I hate it.
10. Crocs
Image source: Ds4832 on Flickr
haha. ahahaha. ahahahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH