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Breanna Coon / Her Campus
Sex + Relationships

How to Spot When Your Significant Other is Toxic

    Since being in quarantine means having more free time on my hands than I know what to do with, my roommate and I decided to rewatch Hannah B’s season of  “The Bachelorette”. Now for anyone who watches the show and specifically has seen that season, you know the monstrosity of Luke P. and Jed Wyatt. If you don’t, let’s just say both men continuously lie and gaslight Hannah throughout her season. No matter how infuriating it is, it really shows women what a manipulative partner looks like and honestly, the season can help every woman spot a toxic relationship. 

So after finishing the season earlier tonight, I returned to my room and got in bed. While I listened to music and started responding to Snapchats, I realized I have been caught up talking to someone who continuously makes me feel less then. I know what I deserve and I know I am a queen. So why am I putting up with someone who always manipulates me and makes me feel guilty?

Now, I am not saying that this person is emotionally abusive or anything, but they have definitely expressed some toxic traits that raise some concern. So I’m gonna outline them for you, maybe to help prevent you from falling for the same traits. 

Getting Upset When You Don’t Respond Fast Enough

Everyone needs some time away from their phone. It is good not to be constantly attached to it. If everytime you don’t respond for an hour or so, your partner gets upset, take time and recognize it. 

Not Acknowledging Your Feelings

Sometimes people make mistakes, and the biggest part of a relationship is communicating. If you communicate your feelings, which takes courage, and your S.O. completely disregards it, that should raise a red flag. Your feelings are valid and they deserve to be recognized. 

Placing Blame

All of us are human and we make mistakes; however, if your significant other constantly places the blame on you, it’s not okay. Not everything is your fault and they need to take responsibility too. Every relationship requires give and take, blame is not okay and you should not feel responsible for everything. 

All of these traits and actions can make you feel less then. They can apply to any friendship and relationship. Take time to recognize them and your feelings. Try talking to your partner or friend and expressing your feelings. If they continue to disregard them, considering talking to someone else about how you feel, they might be able to help you spot these feelings. 


If you ever feel at risk or in danger. Please contact the Rhodes College counseling center 901-843-3128 or email us at [email protected]

The Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

Reid Brown

Rhodes '22

I'm from Vermont which means I can talk about snow, maple syrup, and how great Canada is all day:)
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