Good Apple Frat Bro Not Like The Other Bad Apple Frat Bros- Speaks Out

According to Rhodes College student and former Omega Theta Pi member John Dlutarsky ‘22, more people need to “like, get more mad about rape.”

“John Dluartsky is totally different from the typical frat bro,” fellow Omega Theta Pi member Kent Borfman said. “He’s like the most woke ex-bro I know.”

Dlutarsky recently left Omega Theta Pi when he realized he was surrounded by bad, bad apples. “Some Frat bros are not good, I would even say some frat bros are bad apples,” Dlutarsky said. “People need to wake up! Frat party culture is responsible for sexual assault, it needs to stop.”

Unlike most fraternity men, Dlutarsky, interviewed for this article right before he attended a Football Formal party, seems to know exactly what is wrong with Frats and rape culture, and knows exactly how to fix it.

“If you keep attending our ragers, bad apples will keep doing what bad apples do. I can’t believe everyone is surprised when they hear about sexual assault on campus, but I hope my secret insight helps rape victims around the world.” said Dlutarsky .

“Believe it or not, but, frat bros are taught to have each other’s backs when it comes to rape accusations,” Dlutarsky said. “But in actuality, everyone is to blame for one rape incident, not just the frat bro accused of rape."

“I can’t believe I’m the first to realize this, but I felt compelled to share my opinion because of my secret insight. It’s time to confront the truth of the situation. Rape happens. We frat bros know about it. Not enough of you guys are mad about it. Therefore, it’ll keep happening until people get mad enough!”

“Like when me and my bros can’t even hang out together without getting wasted, that’s when you know the problem has gotten serious. Textbook toxic masculinity. You’re all complicit in my emotional vulnerability- and ugh- we’re all complicit in rape,” Dlutarsky added. 

Other students at Rhodes agreed that Dlutarsky’s secret insight was clearly a sign that people just haven’t been getting mad enough, and that everyone had obviously been in the dark before he came out with these shocking revelations about the problems with party and Frat culture on college campuses.