It was a normal summer day at work, and I heard a song start playing that I had never heard before. I remember thinking that I liked the beat. I was enjoying this intriguing beat until I heard the opening lyrics: “Oh, no/ See you walking ‘round like it’s a funeral/ Not so serious, girl; why those feet cold? / We just getting started; don’t you tiptoe, tiptoe, ah…”
If this song sounds familiar to you, then you may already know it by its name: “Cake by the Ocean”. The song is performed by Joe Jonas and his band, DNCE, and it is undoubtedly about sexual fantasy. I am somewhat ashamed to say that I suppressed those initial feelings of discomfort and began to listen to this song outside of work, when I actually had a choice. I tried my hardest to ignore the lyrics and to just focus on the beat. I told myself that the lyrics weren’t that big of a deal when they were tearing me apart inside.
You may think I’m legalistic or weird for feeling bad about listening to this song. This song troubles me as a Christian, but it also troubles me as a woman. If you are a woman, too, and you want women to be respected in society, then I urge you to take a closer look at some of the lyrics with me. If you are a man, and you also want women to be respected in society, then I urge for you to examine these lyrics, too.
The song is basically about a man (the narrator) who is lusting after a woman he has no relationship with (he’s not even acquaintances with her). In verse 1, the narrator says that he’s seen her walking around, and she seems like a serious girl. He thinks she could use some fun. This part of the song makes me cringe, because it reminds me of some derogatory comments that so many women, myself included, have received from ill-intentioned men, such as, “You should smile more.” It’s one thing when a man says that you have a nice smile and you should smile more, but it’s another thing to be interrupted when you’re focused on work, or when you’re deep in thought on a walk, just to hear that for the umpteenth time.
In the second line, the narrator blatantly refers to himself as a masterpiece that his fantasy girl should not waste time with. Rather, he wants to move things quickly with her. He makes it obvious that he does not want a deep relationship – he wants something casual instead. He wants to fulfill his sexual fantasy with this girl who he calls “a real-life fantasy”. Is that supposed to make the girl feel special? Some masterpiece he is!
Throughout the rest of the song, the narrator obsesses over the young woman’s outward appearance, and in his sexual fantasy, he commands her to talk to him and walk for him. The f words is tossed in there a couple of times as a filler word, and the narrator uses the Lord’s name in vain as he continues to lust after this poor, young woman whom he hasn’t even had the decency to introduce himself to or even say hello to. The whole time, he’s just staring at her, like a creeper.
It cannot be denied that this is yet another song that objectifies women. As a single young woman, I have now decided to spend my time being filled up by encouraging songs: songs about sweet and innocent love without all the sexual euphemisms, songs in which a man sings for his love of a woman’s heart and inner beauty, songs that reflect on just how beautiful life and nature is, and songs about how good God is. I realize that by listening to this song by DNCE, I was unintentionally condoning the captive hold of sexual lust. Bottom line: “Cake by the Ocean” by DNCE promotes rape culture, and I refuse to listen to it anymore on my own time.
Please be cautious of what you listen to, because the more you listen to it, the more you will find yourself unintentionally agreeing with the actual lyrics. Guard your heart. Protect your mind. Do not waste your time listening to trash. Instead, fill your ears with uplifting music that is good for the soul. I can guarantee you that you will notice a difference in your attitude and thinking!