So one day you’re at home, right? Your family is around you, your favorite movie is playing on Netflix, and you’re just relaxing on the couch while texting your best friend.
Then the next day, you’re moving out into a new dorm with strangers, and you glance at your schedule and already see a lot of assignments coming in. You peek around the hall and realize: “There are so many new faces! I don’t know anyone!” You then speculate that they’ll be people you won’t like and people you’ll be really close to – but isn’t it just stressful to walk past someone and feel the thick tension in the atmosphere? Isn’t it annoying to walk past someone you’d rather avoid?
Here are some tips to get along with everyone you meet!
Change Your Perspective: Don’t think to yourself: “Oh, great. They’re not even remotely similar to me. I’ll have a hard time getting to know them.” The fact is you don’t even know them yet! Don’t base who you think you will like on people who seem to have similar aspects in their personalities as you. Instead, think: “Wow! A new person! I wonder what they’re like! I wonder if we can become good friends!”
Be Friendly: Okay, I get it. Everyone likes their personal space. But everyone likes a smile, too. When you walk past someone, smile and say hello. Do your best to not have a hostile look. Being friendly will make you approachable. You want to leave a first good impression because first impressions are hard to forget. And who knows? Maybe they’re having a super bad day. Greet someone like they matter because they do. Wouldn’t you like to be treated that way?
Spend Time with People: You’re here to be primarily a student. To work hard, study and fulfill your dream. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have friends! Hey, you might be introverted, but everyone needs people! Take the initiative to start a conversation. Talk to people about what they would like to talk about. What were their lives like before they got here? Where are they from? What is their major? What is their dream job? It’s going to be hard at first – especially if conversation’s not your thing. And don’t try to pepper them with questions, because asking one or two may let them completely open up to you. People will be challenging, but it’s well worth it.
Be Genuine: People can tell when you’re being fake. Try not to get to know people just because you think they have something to offer. Instead, think of what a great person they are. Find qualities about them you admire.
Be Cautious: Not everyone will think of you as their friend, or will like you very much. Some people you want to just be nice to, but not really hang out with them, and that’s okay. Just be careful who you trust and how much personal information you share. Think of friendships like this – where will you guys be in six months from now? Three years? Of course you may want it to last a long time, but people change. Confide in people who share your moral values and have proven to keep their promises. Relationships take a long time to build, because the good relationships are built on trust. So make sure you’re trustworthy, too!
Pray for Them: This is the most important. People are going to hurt you. They might curse you out, ignore you, send you a text that’s offensive, belittle you, or maybe they’ll hurt you in some way you know they don’t even mean to. The best way to get over this is to pray for them, and to forgive them. Forgiveness only comes through prayer. Ask God to give you a heart of compassion. Ask God to give you a heart of forgiveness. Ask God to give you thankfulness for that person. The more overcome with prayer you are, the more you can see people through God’s eyes, and with His love.
So there they are: the secrets to getting along with mostly everyone! Now go out there and conquer the world!