This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Quinnipiac chapter.
Fighting with friends can be one of the worst experiences ever. It can take all your energy away from work and make you focus solely on the friend issue. Being roommates with your BFF can cause even more problems and making fighting especially awkward.
Personally, I hate fighting and honestly I don’t understand why anyone would enjoy it. I’m guilty of being one of those people who invests all my time and energy towards friendships. After growing up in a house with our girls, being around the same sex is something I have come to cherish. I love spending my time and energy with people I enjoy, so when conflict arises, it stinks.
Don’t let your issues become the next LC vs. Heidi-style saga!!
There are many different reasons why friends fight. Sometimes one friend may do something sucky, but for the most part, being roommates with your best friend can cause one very simple issue: you need space. Living with your BFF causes you to do everything together. You cook together, study, complete GTL and eventually you are able to finish one anothers sentences. So when your roommate forgets to shut the door for the umpteenth time when she leaves, you crack. You completely freak out, and begin bringing up issues from the past in your argument, thereby causing the fight of a lifetime; harsh words are exchanged and now you’re left not speaking not only to your roommate, but your best friend.
Instead of making it completely uncomfortable for the both of you, go out and have some time to yourself. Take your keys and go for a drive, explore the campus, or have a nice lunch by yourself at Panera with a good book. Just get out and clear your head. Sometimes having that hour or two by yourself can clear your mind and make you reconsider the issue at hand. It can give you perspective and help you relax. I know when I get into fights with my friends and roommates; I love to write in my journal about how I’m feeling. Sometimes other things may be going on in my life, so writing down what’s going on is a way to keep my frustration level down and keep my feelings from bottling up.
Usually, solutions are simple and issues can be resolved quickly. Just remember that it’s okay to live your own life, apart from your best friend and roommate. Giving one another space and allowing independence is key to maintaining a positive, healthy relationship. When you go grocery shopping, go solo. Don’t always go to the gym together and give each other space to just chill out and unwind in the room. However, this type of thinking does not apply to everything. If a friend betrayed you in a serious way, such as sneaking around with your boyfriend, things won’t disappear overnight.
Another key aspect is putting yourself out there without your BFF. The two of you are not the same person, so make an effort to try new things on your own. It is a great way to meet new people and maintain separate interests. Being different is what makes you two unique and allows the friendship to work. Don’t lose that just because you two are now attached at the hip. Remember, space and unique differences are what makes your friendship work. You’re not required to become carbon copies of one another just because you are now sharing a dorm room.