The other day I called my grandmother just to say hello. I figured that I was fulfilling my granddaughter duty in calling just to check in to make sure everything was okay. Instead, I got this “Erica, why don’t you have a boyfriend? I know you like working but if you keep this up, you’ll never find someone. You need to get your priorities straight.”
I get that growing up in “her time” where men and women got married at 20 and had babies right away was something she was used to but I mean I’m 20 years old for goodness sake. But as I processed her information I took a step back and asked myself, what’s wrong with being single at 20? Does a man really equal happiness?
Now I’ll be honest with you. The closest thing I’ve had to a “real” relationship was with my elementary school boyfriend, Chris. We were happy as clams, yes we were 7, but in my childish mind it was the happiest 6-months of my life and we were going to be married and live next door to my parents, realistic right? Aside from that it’s been single city, with a few occasional hook-up buddies here and there, nothing deep.
I’m not going to lie, there’s got to be something nice about being in a relationship. Watching my friends have little moment with their boyfriends at parties or holding hands and cuddling on the couch, it seems that there is something great about always having a person to talk to and some guys are really great. There are even times when I complain to my friends about how much I just want a boyfriend and how awesome it must be. But on the other hand, I look and see that a boyfriend can just be a pain in the butt.
Boys complicate things. They have since we discovered them at 13 and we have to do just about anything to get their attention. We’ve backstabbed friends for them, made up rumors to get their attention and even gone as far as playing the “dumb blonde” card in hopes of catching their eye, and when you add the word “friend” to the end of boy, you take the complications to a greater level.
Some boyfriends seem to need to know just about everything about you and in some cases can change who you are. I not saying all of them, but the majority always want to know where you are, what you’re wearing and who you’re with if they’re not with you and girls seem to fall right into the trap and do what they say. I’ve been out with enough of my girlfriends to see that spending the entire night on the phone texting “the boo” to let me know where you are and exactly how many breaths they take in a minute they waste the entire night away while I’m having the time of my life.
I look at it this way, I’m 20 years old and a college student. I was given the opportunity to live on a beautiful campus and have the best four years of my life, away from my parents with no bills, no problems and the pristine opportunity to screw up and not truly take any of the fall. The only thing I stress about is when my next paper is due and how I’m going to get through my next class without falling asleep. I’m not solving world issues, paying a mortgage or picking up my kids from school. I’m living my life the way I want to. Why would I want to tie myself down in a relationship that might not last?
There is nothing wrong with being single at 20. Although it may feel like sometimes you’re the only one without someone, especially around that damned holiday we know as Valentine’s Day, but in the long run when I feel like when I have finally found that one guy who’s “the one” for me, I’m going to cherish it so much more because I didn’t waste my time with the jerk who came before him. Although in my grandmother’s eyes a man equals happiness, I feel like these four years were given to me as a gift and a time to figure myself out and where exactly I fit in this huge world and while I figure that out I think I’ll stay single and “do me” for I only live once, and I’ve got years to find a man.
Photo: http://hbowatch.com/hbo-to-produce-sex-and-the-city-prequel/