I have a question for you: when was the last time you let yourself be bad at something? I don’t mean bad as in “not professional level” or “not as good as someone else.” I mean really, truly awful at something.
Can’t remember? Like a lot of people, I used to never let myself be bad at things. If I felt like drawing something, it had to be a work of art that I was super proud of or I wouldn’t finish it. If I wanted to write a story, it had to be Emily Brontë-level good, needing no edits, comments, or re-dos. If it didn’t meet these impossible criteria, I wouldn’t finish or sometimes even start it.
Maybe you relate to this common theme of not finishing — or even beginning — creative tasks. I know I certainly do! Perfectionism has a way of manifesting itself in weird places, and in some areas more than others.
Realizing that I had fallen victim to perfectionism in my hobbies made me take a step back and say to myself, “Molly, you need to chill!”. For real, why is it that I felt the need to be good at everything I tried the first time I tried it? As the saying goes, Rome wasn’t built in a day!
Giving myself permission to be bad at my hobbies was what made me start enjoying them again. For example, I stopped dancing competitively halfway through high school but started getting back into dance in university. At first, I was reluctant to go to a class because I wasn’t as good at dance as I used to be. This stopped me from participating in a sport that I adored, just because of a self-imposed mental block.
When I finally plucked up the courage to go to a dance class with Queen’s Dance Club, I felt happy for days after. I had forgotten that it didn’t matter if I wasn’t back at competitive-level dance; I was dancing anyway. And, most importantly, it made me insanely happy and grateful for my days in the dance studio during high school.
From this experience, I learned that just because you might not be good at something doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it and love it. For example, my friends and I have started going to the Queen’s squash courts every week to play. We bring a speaker and blast Drake while we try — and fail — to learn how the game works. Do any of us have any idea how to play squash? No, not at all. Do we cheer every time we hit the ball against the wall, no matter which side is winning? Yes, yes we do. And even though we can’t get more than five hits in a rally between us, we leave the squash courts grinning ear-to-ear and giggling all the way home. Now, squash is one of my favourite hobbies.
My point is, give yourself permission to fail. Fail at everything, because that means you’re trying everything. As Adele once said, “if you’re not feeling everything, you’re missing everything”! For me, I’m giving myself permission to fail at pottery this year. I’ve always wanted to try it, but this is the first time I’m taking that leap. Besides trying pottery, I’m also trying new fruits, new coffee orders, and new styles (who cares if I don’t like them, because at least I tried them!).
Trying and failing at things may not be the easiest route to go, but it really does make life more exciting.