The Stolen Moments of Our Fourth Year

We are living in the most uncertain of times right now. I have tried to write numerous articles in the last couple of days but everything has felt unimportant with the pandemic happening. By the time that this article is published, a lot may already have changed since we seem to all be taking things one day at a time. 

There appears to be a fog in the air, a metaphorical one obviously, but it exists nonetheless. It’s a fog that I cannot shake. I cannot stop watching the news and I cannot help but worry about the safety of my family and friends. As University campuses across North America were closing down, I felt like I was 10 years old again and waiting for a snow day to be called. But what would it mean if classes were canceled? What would it look like for my graduation? 

Well, as you all know, we will be finishing our undergraduate degrees from the comfort of our homes and there will be no celebrations. We will not have any pomp and there certainly won’t be any circumstance. Like many, I have looked forward to graduation for four years. We have put everything we have into these degrees and now we must celebrate in isolation. I feel as though there has been no closure to my undergrad experience, as if this chapter had the last couple of pages ripped out, and I cannot see how it was meant to end. After four long years of dedication and hard work, we won’t have the same reward that our older peers had, no ceremony, no cap and gown. As someone who lives with an immunocompromised individual, I live in fear every day that I will carry COVID-19 home with me. I understand the threat to the community so I absolutely agree that such drastic measures have to be taken during these times of uncertainty. I am proud that Queen’s has made the decisions it has. But every time I want to grieve for the loss of such a momentous moment in my life, I stop myself because people are dying and my moment of celebration no longer matters.

I don’t like this way of thinking, I think that we should be allowed to grieve for the moments that we have missed. People all over the world are missing important moments in their lives because of COVID-19. We are all allowed a moment to grieve as businesses close all over the city and we prepare for the worst. We grieve for the business owners who closed because they knew it was right but now they live in fear of not being able to open their doors again. We grieve for the elderly who cannot allow their families to visit them any longer. We grieve for the stranded parents who may be missing their child’s first steps. We must take a second as a society to grieve for the moments and people we are missing, we must allow ourselves to feel grief without having shame attached to it. I don’t believe that we should feel shame for wanting to grieve for our lost time. We have lost our final moments of our undergrad and it is okay to feel sadness over that. 

Our graduation ceremonies have been canceled. To me, this means that yes, I will still be receiving my diploma by mail, but it means that my grandparents won’t be able to see me graduate. My parents, who have worked so hard to provide me with opportunities that they did not have, won’t be able to clap as I walk across the stage. I would have been the first member of my family to graduate from University. This does not belittle my achievement as I am still a graduate of Queen’s University and I am still proud of that, but I am missing out on a moment I would likely have remembered for the rest of my life. As we all say our goodbyes to friends on campus (hopefully from a distance of at least 6 feet away through air hugs), we mourn the loss of these moments we would have shared. These moments, whether big or small, are what make us. We strive for these moments with one another because they hold us up when we feel down. So as a community, let’s make sure that we can keep having these moments when we have made it through these dark times. We can create more moments, even if it’s through Facetime and phone calls. We must come together now, even as we grieve for our stolen moments, and hold each other up with kindness and love.

 

• COVID-19
• graduation
• lifestyle
• opinion