In honour of Movember, this week’s article is for the boys! I want to take this article as an opportunity to help out those single men out there. As a semi-avid (but not at all dependent) Tinder user, I’d say I’ve become pretty good at knowing what ruins a profile and what makes a match. My experiences of scrolling on Tinder and Bumble have been mostly less-than-average, and a big reason for that is because most of you have less-than-average profiles! But have no fear, Vic is here to help. Have less than 50 matches? Not after reading this article, you won’t.
So, men, you’re scrolling through your favourite dating app, and BAM! A gorgeous girl. She’s pretty, has a dog, has a funny bio, and her Instagram is connected so she’s probably a real person. Perhaps she’s your future wife! You shake out your hands, say a little prayer, and get ready. Your finger hits your screen and swipes right. Will she match you back? Waiting for the notification saying “It’s a Match!”….10 seconds pass…nothing. Probably a glitch. Then one minute passes by and still no match. You’re crushed. She really could have been the love of your life. Where did you go wrong?
Your Profile Tags
Some dating sites like Tinder, Bumble and Hinge allow you to add various tags onto your profile, including gender, sexual orientation, height, education, place of work, your activities that involve drinking or smoking and, finally, what you’re looking for in a match. As for politics, religion, family plans and some others, I would say it’s best to avoid those answers. Unless they are a dealbreaker for you and you need someone who is the same religion or holds the same political views as you, the tags aren’t important enough to keep on your profile. Let your matches find those things out about you when you talk and get to know them more if they are super important to you.
Some tags you SHOULD include on your profile are your height, if you have children or not, the school you attend and whether you are in an undergrad or master’s program. Also, it’s nice to know if you’re physically active and know your star sign, so make sure to include those too! In some cases, posting what you’re looking for on the app can also be acceptable. Flooding your profile with answers gets redundant and long, so only have a few that are most important!
First things first, the second I see that someone’s first photo is a group photo or any photo where I can’t immediately tell it’s them, I swipe left. Same goes for fish pics, douchey gym pics or hunting pics. For this reason, I suggest turning off “smart photos” so you can choose exactly which picture goes where.
Your first photo should be one where you can clearly see your face, but not a selfie or mirror pic. Next time you eat out at a place with a pretty background, ask the person you’re with to snap a quick photo – and don’t forget to smile! Showing your future spouse that you don’t take yourself too seriously goes a long way.
Some other photos that I believe you need on your profile include (but aren’t limited to): a photo with your family, one with friends, ONE (!!) gym photo or a pic that shows off your body, a photo with a cute child or a dog, and a solo photo of you doing something fun that you like! All of these allow us to see a bit more about your personality and let us know that you’re a real person who other people like to be around.
Photos to NOT include: a picture of just a pet, only group photos in your entire profile, a photo where you can’t see your face, a photo of your car and more than one gym, fishing, hunting or car photo. To be honest, fishing, hunting, or car photos typically turn women away, but if that’s a huge part of who you are and you need someone who is also into those things, then I would say add only one. If not, don’t include any!
Some other photo DON’TS: don’t post photos that are more than one year old, videos or boomerangs, heavily edited photos, any photos with bad quality (sorry Android users) and please don’t post any photos of you wearing sunglasses.
Having good photos, especially a good first photo, is important because it’s what your potential match will see and look through first. You have to WOW them with your photos.
Contrary to popular belief of having no bio, or a bio that starts with “you probably won’t read this” (literally what is the purpose of having that in your bio at all, it’s like you’re undermining the girls who do read it), WE DO READ BIOS! And they are pretty important!
We can tell a lot by your pictures, but your bio can either confirm or deny our assumptions about you. However, it’s easy to go wrong. Although a bio typically describes who you are and what you do, I suggest always putting something funny or quirky in your dating profile bio, but it’s easy to take this too far. I’ve compiled a few things you shouldn’t put in it, and some things that you should. In general, your bio should be short enough to capture your potential match’s attention, but not so long that we get bored reading.
Some things you should absolutely NEVER put in your bio include: anything along the lines of “I probably won’t kill you” (yes, I seriously saw someone who had that as their bio), anything with aggressive sexual advances or anything about your ex (it looks like you’re still in love with them). Stay away from throwing out random qualities you think you possess, what kind of relationship you’re seriously looking for, or any bio that’s extremely long. Again, when you look like you take the app or yourself too seriously, a potential match is typically more likely to swipe left. Also, I love Call Her Daddy as much as the next gal, but please stop putting #daddygang in your bio. If it’s worked for you, great. If not, it’s because it makes you look desperate.
Bios that I think are super successful for guys are silly, sarcastic ones that don’t rely on dark humour or sexual advances to be funny. Some of the bios I’ve seen recently that I like include:
Quoted reviews (from an unrealistic source like The New York Times, or your mom)
“Not looking for anything serious. Just a long term relationship that eventually ends in marriage with two kids and a puppy”
“You couldn’t handle my undivided attention”
“Blue flower red thorns blue flower red thorns blue flower red thorns blue flower red thorns”
“Looking for a date to _______ in approx. one year, apply within”
“Save the bees”
“Swipe right for a tbh” (except I’m still waiting for my tbh so, like, if this is yours… follow through)
Those are just a few examples of some good ones I’ve seen lately, but the common thread is that those bios often elicit a response from a match! It’s intriguing, I want to know if I have what it takes to be the date or I’d want to laugh with you about the iconic Shrek line.
And there you go! Now that you know what to do with the profile tags, your photos, and your bio, go make changes and see the matches flood in! Show your potential future spouse that you’re a fun guy, you don’t take yourself or your dating life too seriously and that you’re worth getting to know! But, once you get the match, don’t ruin it with your actions. Intriguing and keeping your match is a whole other ballpark. Well, what are you waiting for? Go match the love of your life!
DISCLAIMER: All profiles with photos/names featured were approved by the owner of the profile.