Women, let’s face it. We probably don’t have as hard a time getting matches on our dating profile than men do. Our hardships of Tinder come from the lack of good potential matches from the dating pool rather than our own profiles. However, after my last FTB dating profile do’s and don’t’s, I heard some requests from my ladies out there who wanted to know how to make their dating profiles better.
Let me start this off by saying — FEMALES SHOULD FEEL NO SHAME ABOUT HAVING DATING PROFILES! I think there is sometimes a stigma about females having dating profiles because it can be seen as “desperate” in the eyes of society. But let me relax your worries and remind you that you have the freedom to do literally whatever you want, and should feel free to do it without judgment! Remember, this starts with yourself. If you’re constantly judging others, you’ll become more worried about people judging you. I also want to preface this by saying this article is solely to help you get more matches. Once you score the match, there’s a whole other ballpark that I can’t begin to dive into about differentiating between a man who solely just wants to hook up and a man who is down to see where things may go. There’s different ways of talking to your matches based on each scenario that I could touch on in a future article if people are interested!
I reached out to some male and female friends about what they look for in a female match, and what has worked for them in their own profiles. Read ahead to figure out what to do and what not to do!
Let’s start with photos. Majority of people agree that you shouldn’t have all of the same picture — all group photos, all selfies, etc — as your entire profile. I would suggest making your first photo a solo shot (not a selfie) someone has taken of you. In general, I like to stay away from including hand-held selfies or mirror selfies. If you don’t have any, start getting your friends to take cute pics of you at brunch or on a cute photo-op wall around campus! I find that these pictures show more confidence, that you’re confident enough to let your friends take photos of you in public. Include 2 of these kind of photos (or otherwise, one selfie), one or two photos of you and 1-2 friends, and, if you decide you have the confidence for this, one photo in a bikini/ swimwear. A big do from a lot of the guys I talked to was to include a good mixture of individual and group photos.
I find bio’s really important! I think it’s a great way to either start a conversation, show a bit of your personality, or convey your reason for using the dating apps. However, bio’s should be short and sweet. I think 1-2 sentences suffice for most people — if you have more than this, it can get too long and uninteresting. I don’t think you should ever blatantly say “I am here for hookups” or “I am looking for a relationship” (males… this goes for you too) because having specific intentions can be a bit intense. Humour is always my go-to for bio’s. One of my past bios was “ “Victoria is beautiful, intelligent, charismatic, funny, and loving. Definitely the best girlfriend I’ve ever had” – this could be you”. Little humour to rope them in, gave them a way into starting the conversation, and showed that I’m not against being someone’s girlfriend. Another bio I had was “Looking for someone to take me to the Christmas Market this break” which resulted in a lot of people sparking conversation about taking me to the Xmas Market or providing alternate fun winter things to do. I also had “tell me your favourite pickup line” in the past, which literally is a dead giveaway to an opening line. My instagram handle is a line underneath my bio line as a shameless plug for my fitness account. Feel free to do this — it’s gotten me a lot of followers! But beware, you’ll get about 10-20 dm’s a week from random men that “saw you on Tinder” who know you won’t swipe right on them.
Also, please stop writing “I’m just here to meet your dog”. We both know that’s not true. And then it makes males think it’s okay to make their bio “I have a dog”. C’mon ladies, we must break this cycle.
Other Profile Features
This is just a personal preference, but I like to always include my school to show matches that I’m in school, but if you’re working, putting your job title is also good. Don’t put your workplace, ever. You never know what creeps are going to come across your profile.
I find that women’s profiles don’t need to be as detailed-oriented as men’s profiles should be. I don’t think men really care about profile tags like height or if you drink/smoke, or even your favourite song. If you want to include these things, though, please do! This is the part where you can show more of your personality, and the things you find important for future matches to know about you.
And voila! If you weren’t getting a whole lot of matches, or matches from the people you were hoping for, hopefully employing these tactics into your profile can kickstart that! Like I said before, most men don’t take these apps too seriously or think too deeply about them, so we usually have an easier time getting matches than them. I hope I’ve helped a bit in the struggle that is dating in 2020. Now get out there and be shameless in using dating apps!