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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Queen's U chapter.

Hello friends! 

Before we get into the article, I am wishing all of you readers the best during this difficult time. COVID-19 has been a scary and uncertain period for a lot of people and whatever you are feeling during time is very valid. Sadness, grief, anxiety, or even if you’re happy to spend some time away from the world; whatever it is, it’s okay to feel all the feelings. 

One feeling that I was feeling during quarantine was ‘disconnected’. Obviously, not being able to physically see friends and family was difficult. Phone calls and Facetime were helpful, but definitely not the same. One person that I especially missed was my boyfriend. He has always been so supportive and a ray of positivity in our relationship, so not being in his presence as much was difficult. The one way we were able to see each other was to have driveway meetups where we would sit in the trunks of our car and talk from six feet away. 

Silhouette of two people
Photo by Tori Wise from Unsplash

Not being able to go out on dates and being stuck in one spot for hours started to put a damper on our relationship. Even during quarantine, growth in a relationship is super important. If anything, being in quarantine is a huge test on how strong communication needs to be with your partner. I was feeling upset that we weren’t communicating like normal, so I realized that we needed to somehow reconnect from six feet apart. 

I came across this card game called ‘We’re Not Really Strangers’. You play the game with people you might not know too well, family, friends, or a significant other. The point of the game is to learn more about the players on a deeper level. The game has three levels and each level has deeper questions to ask your partner/other players. I did some research on what kinds of questions are asked, and these questions get really deep throughout the game. 

So I made my own version of the game (since shipping time would have taken over two weeks). I wrote down lots of questions on pieces of paper for each level. Level one were basic questions, level two were questions to reconnect and level three were questions to reflect on our relationship and answers. 

Why this game works 

When my boyfriend came over to play the game, we promised to be truthful with our answers and to not be afraid to hold back (we basically live by these rules in our relationship overall, but for the game it is important to be as truthful as can be). 

We each took turns picking up a piece of paper, asking each other the question and then answering it. Surprisingly, each question took almost ten minutes to answer because during the game we both had a discussion about the question. Even the most basic question like, “When was the last time you felt nostalgic” caused a ten minute conversation about our childhood and what we found stuck with us today. We stayed up until 12:30 am playing this game; over five hours of just talking and reconnecting. 

At the end of the game, each player has to write a letter to their partner about anything they want. We decided to write about what we mean to each other and how the game helped our relationship. The letters are then not to be opened until each player gets home to read alone. And let me tell you, reading the letter was super emotional. 

Being open and honest with your significant other is probably the key to a healthy relationship. Not only was playing the game a fun date night, it also allowed me to open up and be truthful to the person I trust the most. Ever since that chilly night back in April, my boyfriend and I have been communicating better than ever. 

Example Questions: To play this game, you can buy ‘We’re Not Really Strangers’, but I suggest writing down your own questions; to make it more personal. Writing your own intimacy questions/activities for this activity could look like these… 

1. What about me intrigues you?

2. What was your favourite part about your childhood?

3. Do you remember the first time we met? Describe it if you can. 

4. What is your favourite physical feature about me?

5. What is your favourite personality trait of mine?

6. Do you think the image you see of yourself matches the image that others might see of you?

7. Are you missing anyone right now? If so, who?

8. What was something you liked about our relationship at the start?

9. Give your partner a compliment you don’t think they hear enough.

10. In a word, describe how your partner makes you feel.

11. What do you think I should know about myself that I am unaware of?

12. What’s the most pain you have ever felt that wasn’t physical?

13. What is the most important thing in a relationship?

14. What is the hardest thing to keep up in a relationship?

15. What do you want our future to look like?

16. When was the moment you knew I was the one for you?

17. Is there something that I can do better in our relationship? 

Pink neon love sign
Photo by Shaira Dela Pena from Unsplash

These are just a few examples to use or change. The best way to play this game is to have cell phones away and play in a space where it is just the two of you. 

Reconnecting is important to add growth to a relationship. It is normal to fall out of balance, but this game will be your saving grace to reconnect and fall in love with your partner all over again.

Kirsten Howard

Queen's U '21

Kirsten Howard is a third year Gender Studies student at Queen's University.