We have all heard it before. Whether from a friend or family member, the textbook definition of a social butterfly undertakes giving you dating advice which usually starts with, “It’s easy – just put yourself out there!” But what exactly does that mean? Let’s face it; in the context of dating or meeting new friends, not everyone can simply keep up with daily tinder swipes or attend every single social event. For many people, “putting yourself out there” begins with gaining the confidence to actually get out there in the first place.
A quote by Brene Brown, public speaker and research professor, says “Vulnerability is not winning or losing. It’s having the courage to show up when you can’t control the outcome.” The first and most important step in putting yourself out there is being okay with being vulnerable, even when it comes with uncertainty. Beyond meeting someone for the first time, new relationships require some level of intimacy and vulnerability to evolve. Everyone unmasks their secrets, fears, and experiences at different rates. Yet, recognizing vulnerability as a necessary component of a successful relationship will allow you to open up and reveal your authentic self.
Putting yourself out there means that you are honest with yourself while simultaneously stepping out of your everyday normalcy. What works for some people may not work for others. Instead of trying to dress like your best friend or flirt like your sister, stay true to yourself and follow your values. Of course, if staying true to yourself involves staying in bed alone watching Friends reruns every night, you have to recognize that it will take time and some effort to get out of your box of comfort. Outside of your comfort zone lies things that will make you uncomfortable – but those are often the best things.
All in all, you know best where your comfortability ends. The means of meeting new people doesn’t have to be the same for everyone. Rather, being aware of your fears and choosing to be vulnerable and uncomfortable anyways, is the true definition of putting yourself out there.