The spectrum of caring begins in elementary school. We are taught to be nice and considerate, and as social beings we naturally form friendships and connections with one another. We care about our family, friends, and the people we meet because we place an emotional value on our relationships. It is only once we lose those connections that our innocence disappears and our hearts become jaded. In growing up, friends grow apart, relationships don’t work out, and you come to realize that not everyone is as friendly as they once were in the kindergarten sandbox. Despite this, we tell ourselves that these are all standard experiences that are necessary to build character and to gain the awareness we need to protect ourselves from getting hurt. But what if we have taken this idea a little too far?
We’ve all experienced being stabbed in the back. It leaves us feeling scared and broken, unwilling to put ourselves out there again. The issue with this fear of getting hurt is that as a result, none of us want to care anymore. In other words, we are refusing to put our hearts into anything because we are so scared they are going to get broken.
From elementary school, we then move into high school, where unless you want to be known as a freak, you shouldn’t care too much about anything. Showing you care about someone is risky because automatically everyone assumes you are in love with them. Showing you care about a cause or believing firmly in certain values can leave you labeled as someone who ‘tries too hard’ or ‘cares too much’. Being emotional is often perceived as a weakness; someone who is emotional or passionate is flawed and can’t think logically. Well, I would like to make it clear that whoever thinks having a heart and showing it is a weakness, in my opinion, is wrong. It is correct to say that things would be easier if we just did not care. People would be more honest and less worried about hurting others’ feelings and things might get done faster (since opinions would not be based on emotions but on logic and reason), but I argue, what does that leave us with? Are we merely robots programmed to live out our lives never putting our hearts into anything we do? I would like to think most of us, as students, choose degrees we are passionate about and passion is driven by an emotional will to do better. Emotions motivate us, and they connect us to each other.
Another aspect of university I have witnessed throughout my four years is caring in a social aspect. It is incredible how many millennials don’t give a sh*t about each other, or at least choose to portray themselves that way. No one wants to text first – it will come off as ‘desperate’. Nobody wants to ‘catch feelings’ because it just makes sex too complicated. Most of us are too quick to cut people out of our lives instead of putting ourselves out there. We avoid the thought of “Hey, maybe I still care”, and don’t let people see that we’re hurting because vulnerability is looked down upon. It’s almost as if there is a competition, that everyone is competing in, of who can care less.
I could point out a few reasons I believe are the cause of this disease that’s spread around our campuses and social circles. Maybe it has to do with the invention of Tinder – making it easy to avoid all emotional connection with someone. Maybe it’s high levels of bullying in high school that gives us the feeling that we shouldn’t trust anyone. Maybe it’s because social media makes everyone so accessible it makes it that much easier for people to cheat on their partner. Or maybe it’s because we all simply care too much. We never want to give the impression that we care because we are so concerned with what everyone one else is going to think. We are a generation that thinks we’re unique, but really we care more about others’ opinions of us than we care about each other. And I’m pretty sick of it.
So next time you see a first year struggling with their books – help them, who cares if your friends laugh? When your pals get wild at a party – join them, instead of being embarrassed or worried about what other people might think. And next time you think caring too much is going to scare that guy away – he probably doesn’t deserve you in the first place. Be brave, refuse to be embarrassed, and put your heart and soul into everything you experience. Refuse to apologize for caring, refuse to apologize for being human. Because without emotion, passion or love what is it all for?