If you’re anything like me, you love to read. Even more than that, you love watching YouTube videos that recommend which books you should read next. The book side of YouTube, called BookTube by many, has given me an easy way to get back into reading when I’m in a rut and shown me so many of my new favourite books. One of these books is Dolly Alderton’s Everything I Know About Love. Or, alternatively, Everything I Know About Parties, Dates, Friends, Jobs, Life, Love.
In the form of a memoir, author Dolly Alderton recounts her experience as a 20-something through stories, recipes, and sarcastic newsletters. Her entries are funny, unfiltered, and self-deprecating at times, but in a way that makes you feel like it’s okay to be confused about where you are and who you are in life. It’s okay to be messy. It’s okay to make mistakes. However, the main message from the book is summarized pretty perfectly by this sentence: “Everything I know about love, I learned in my long-term friendships with women.”
- Takeaway 1: female friendships rock!!!
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I couldn’t think of a better way to put what my female friendships mean to me than the quote above. My female friends have taught me so much about unconditional love, confidence, and having each other’s backs. They’ve been there for me in more ways that I can count. More than that, they’ve also taught me how to grow and change while still maintaining our mutual love for each other. They’ve taught me how to be vulnerable and how to listen really well. Basically, I’m in total agreement with Dolly — female friendships are probably the most important relationship you’ll ever have.
- Takeaway 2: your 20s are confusing. like, really confusing.
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One thing I loved about this book is that Dolly kept it real. She tells endless stories about her relationship with alcohol, anxiety, depression, weird boyfriends, feeling lost, and feeling alone. And I need to thank her for it! Feeling confused when you’re in your 20s seems like it’s going to be a common theme across the next decade. As a 20-year-old, I am very confused about life in general all the time!!! So it’s really nice to know that most people also feel just as confused, even when they seem like they have it perfectly together. A great reminder to stop comparing yourself to your peers and just take life at your own pace.
- takeaway 3: cancer is really, really awful.
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As someone whose mom had cancer when I was in high school, I know firsthand how awful watching a loved one go through treatment can be. When Dolly’s best friend’s little sister is diagnosed as a teenager, Dolly describes feeling the same as I did — totally and utterly devastated, angry, terrified, and unsure of how she can help besides just being there. Having personal experience with cancer made reading this chapter of the book very emotional and hard at times, but also served as a reminder of how, when you’re at rock bottom, your friends and loved ones have your back.
Her Campus Media - Takeaway 4: soulmates exist in friends, too.
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The main relationship Dolly tells us about in the story isn’t a romantic interest, but the relationship she has with her best friend, Farly. She talks about the unyielding love they have for each other, their ability to actually tell each other the truth, the ways they fight and make up, the way they can laugh about anything, and the ways that they’re there for each other, no matter what. If their friendship reminds you of a person in your life, keep them close.
- Takeaway 5: life is a gift and you’re going to be okay.
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This book was so comforting to read for so many reasons, but one of the main ones was knowing that other people look back on their twenties and think, “I was too hard on myself.” I hope that I can look back on my 20-year-old self and see her as someone who was trying her absolute best — to be a good friend, daughter, student, partner, and version of herself. Dolly’s book served as such a good reminder that you only get to be in your 20s once, so enjoy it as much as you can.
If you couldn’t tell, I basically can’t recommend this book enough. Go get it from your local bookstore and enjoy all the lessons, funny stories, and thoughts about love that Dolly Alderton has to offer!