Calling all college freshmen cuffed girlies. The one item that should absolutely not be taken to college is your high school boyfriend. It’s not a necessary item and will in fact hinder your experience. Maybe you’re a couple weeks into your college career or maybe you’re saying your final goodbye for the semester – either way you need to drop him. Was that harsh? Absolutely yes, but I promise you all, breaking up with your high school sweetheart before any more time goes by will be one of the best decisions you make during college. Being a current junior in college, I have witnessed numerous girls sabotage their freshman year being tied down to their subpar long distance half committed high school boyfriend and miss out on creating new relationships.
So simply and respectfully, he’s got to go. This end of an era really should take place before the college send off, but no stress if you’re already on campus regretting that decision. I’m here to tell you how you can make this a seamless, harmless break up.
First things first, you have to understand why this is so crucial to the wealth of relationships and social thriving that will take place. {*PSA. I say this advice assuming you babes want to go out and function on the weekends over collegiate book club and weekend nights in} I have one friend who has successfully made it to junior year being in a long-distance relationship with her boyfriend from high school, and that is coming from someone who has a lot of friends and has seen a lot of relationship downfall. It doesn’t work out and that is just about almost always a fact. For the population that thinks they have a shot at maintaining their long distance relationship, you will automatically be less inclined to go out, and will be less excited to mingle with frat males, who are ultimately the ones you want to befriend (however that looks for you) to get invites for weekend plans. This is not to say once you realize that I was correct all along and finally break up with said hometown male that you can’t build up a roster of friends, but it is so incredibly easier to start single and mingle from day one without a single worry of a desperate text or whiny phone call.
Obviously, it is much easier to go about this break up when there have been red flags within the relationship since leaving for college. He’s on his phone less, replying back later, story lines aren’t adding up when you’re worried or questioning? Yes, these are all valid signs that should not be ignored. Be done. The moment he starts being a douchey LDBF, you’ve got yourself one easy phone call and you’re free.
But what if he’s still facetiming on your planned schedule and checking in, being respectful and nice? You have two options in this case and it’s all dependent on your personality. Either you’re girl A or B. Girl A is bubbly, friendly, extroverted, a partier and go out and socialize kind of girl. If you are her and only her, this is the one exception to staying with your boyfriend. Please do not cheat yourself here. If you know you will not be capable of making connections and putting on your social networking suit while being committed to the LDBF, dump him. That goes to say, Girl B is not going to put herself out there to the extent that Girl A is, and that is totally okay. If we lived in a world completely inhabited by Girl A’s, it would be a frightening place. But girl B ultimately needs to put an end to the LDBF.
You’re going to go about this in a very kind, very loving way. Hopefully you have the decency to make a phone call and it can go a little something like this…
Hey, I have had the best past couple weeks at school, and it sounds like you have too. It’s also made me consider my relationships and who I am going to put energy into keeping in touch with and continue pursuing in friends and relationships in general. You know I love you so much and you will always have a piece of my heart (you’re letting him down nicely so make some love stuff up), but right now there is so much going on and I think I want to explore the college experience fully on my own being single. I’ve thought a lot about this, and I think breaking up would be in the best interest for both of us. …. Blah blah blah… everyone is going to have their own version of this, but that will let him down easy and allow for (hopefully) a calm and understanding discussion. The point of this conversation starter is to phrase it as a positive thing that both of you are going to benefit from.
Again, if you love your LDBF that’s awesome for you and I could not be happier for you putting in the effort to make it work, but I would really reeeeaaalllly consider weighing the costs of being a freshman in college. It is truly the year of experimentation. Everybody has the same goal freshman year and it’s to make friends. I understand academics is the ultimate reason we go to college but making connections is just as if not more important in your first year away. Plus, you don’t want to waste your first few months of college in emotional pain and annoyance just to take part in the Turkey Drop. {Turkey Drop is when couples come back home during Thanksgiving break and realize they are going to break up}. Don’t do that to yourself. Turkey Drop is the biggest waste of your time. Be strong, have fun (a lot of it), and begin to move on while experiencing some of the best years of your life. You are going to learn so much about yourself and grow as an individual, and that growth looks a whole lot different when you’re doing you, single.