Why You Shouldn't be Afraid to Tell Your Friends the Truth

As I’m writing this article, I am watching my best friend smile and laugh with the guy she really likes. Whenever she sees him, her face lights up and I can tell she gets super nervous. Honestly, it’s really cute but I can’t say I accept it. Of course, I want her to be happy, and when she’s with him, she is, but this particular guy caused an extreme rift in our friendship that we are still healing from. He is the main cause of this rift but her actions during the conflict didn’t help. Long story short, we were all friends first. He began to mess with my mind and heart in more ways than one, but once he got tired of me, he cut me off. Now he is doing the same to my best friend, but she doesn’t view it that way. I admire her because she likes to see the best in people and give them a second chance, however in this situation, I don’t think someone like him deserves a second chance. There are more details that aren’t necessary to explain but from all of the tension, our friendship suffered. I thought I was going to lose her to someone that isn’t even in her league.  

We went a little while without talking to each other and it was the worst few days of my life. My mom once told me that if you and someone you care about are fighting and it’s their fault, give it three days. If that person doesn’t come back to you in that amount of time, they never cared about you like you cared for them. She finally came to me and asked if we could talk.  

I told her everything I was feeling and how I didn’t appreciate what was happening between us because of a guy. I had hoped that our relationship was more important to her than him, but at this point I wasn’t sure at all. I felt like I couldn’t trust her anymore. I reminded her that I didn’t do anything wrong, and the way they were both treating me was not healthy. I gave her my honest opinion of him and that I didn’t approve of the situation. I expected her to be mad when I finished but she wasn’t. She told me that she understands why I felt like that, and that she should not have treated me that way. She continued to explain why she acted the way she did and that it was unacceptable.  

Since we had this discussion, we have grown a lot closer. Now I feel that I can be honest with about everything and know that she won’t get mad and she will listen. A friendship is built on trust, and with that in jeopardy, I almost lost someone who’s given me so many happy memories. If you are going through something with your best friend, talk to them. Ask them to listen to your entire story before saying anything and if you need to take time apart from each other, do it. It may be more beneficial than you think. Have multiple discussions about what the problem is and come up with ways to deal with it, together. Remember that time heals everything, even a broken friendship, don’t rush what needs to heal with each sunrise and sunset. Putting your feelings out on the table is better than bottling them up forever. You can learn a lot from talking to someone; words are powerful, use them.